We have an e-cycling event coming up this month, where they collect unwanted electronic equipment. Last week I dug out some of my own boxes of old trinkets and I hit the motherload! I pulled out at least 4 old palm pilots, 2 cell phones, a Bluetooth and about 10 extra USB cords and adapters, not to mention a dozen accessories I no longer use. I could start my own little electronics store business!

It got me thinking, why do I have all of this stuff? Other than the obvious answer – I bought it! Or rather . . I’d been sold!

Through constant marketing campaigns and my fondness for new shiny things, I got sucked into the “next versions” and “newer models.” I realized it was my version of “Keeping up with the Jones’.” I was just “Jonesin’” for cool stuff or in today’s language, . . . I wanted to upgrade.

Made me really think about what I need vs what I want vs what is pure vanity.

In my personal Self Care practice, I’ve tried to reduce my clutter and pack-rat-ness. Now I’m slowly moving toward what is “natural” and moving away from technology for the sake of the shininess of it all. To be fair, since discovering the Palm Treo about a 1 1/2 years ago, I have not needed another palm OR cell phone (the Treo is both for me now). I like to think that I’ve reduced my carbon footprint by at least 50% but . . . don’t hold me it just yet (wink).

Granted, technology is a hobby for some and a lifestyle for others. But I challenge you to think about:

What “trinkets” in your life are serving you. . . and what doesn’t. And how does it benefit (or inhibit) your Self Care?

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Who do you think are the happiest people in the world?

Would you believe the Danish?

On a recent flight to California, I watched the CBS Eye on AAmerica video that was airing on the plane. The “60 Minutes” piece they showed was about Happiness, so of course my ears perked up immediately. . .

Adrian White, an analytic social psychologist at the University of Leicester developed the first “World Map of Happiness” and ranked Denmark as the happiest nation in the world. This has prompted other academics to do some research of their own to answer the question of WHY.

Ultimately happiness manifests in our lives through purpose and pleasure.

Two main points in the WHY research that I would like to share here:

Have Moderate Expectations - Be Realistic :
The Danish have moderate expectations, so the pressure is off. When something does turn out spectacular, then they are very grateful for it. Compare that with our standard American view where everything needs to be great or outstanding. With those kinds of demands, not only is it unrealistic at times, it’s also very difficult to achieve. When expectations are too high (or unrealistic) and they are not met, people feel a sense of failure which leads to low self esteem, a feeling of discontentment, stress and overall unhappiness.
You can have moderate expectations and still excel greatly in what you do.

Ask yourself: What are your expectations of yourself? Are they realistic?
A suggestion is to start thinking about having HIGH STANDARDS vs. EXPECTATIONS. With Expectations there is a sense of anticipation or looking for something that might happen. With High Standards it is a model or example by which you live and achieve.
A second suggestion, Be Grateful - Honor the Blessings in Your Life.

Do Less - Stay Present:
Americans tend to try to fit in too much. Do Less. Tal Ben-Shahar noted in a study comparing American and European women, it was shown that American women do not particularly enjoy spending time with their children. It wasn’t because they loved their children any less, in fact often children was one of the most important things in their lives. When the researchers dug deeper, they realized that when the women were with their children, they were not really WITH their children - they were not present. Instead they were thinking about what they needed to do next, on email or on the phone. In essence their mind was somewhere else and they were not able to fully enjoy the time spent with their children.

Ask youself: Do you do so much that you do not enjoy the important things in your life?
A suggestion is to simplify your life, do less, choose the important things in your life and be absolutely present with those things.

We certainly can learn something from the Danish and why they are the happiest country in the world, but I believe:

Everyone defines happiness based on what is important and meaningful to them, so achieving happiness in your life is simply a matter of choice.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan?

Technorati Tags: happiness, Tal Ben-Shahar, Adrian White, expectations, stay present

How do you find balance amidst all of your responsibilities and duties?
How do you lead effectively without overwhelm?

The answer not only has to do with self care and balance, but in a large part has to do with leadership - a positive style of leadership.

The first step is to learn how to recognize your personal threshold and say “No.”

Think of “Jody.” She owns her own successful business. She is a member of three different business networking organizations, where she is highly involved. She also believes in community, so voluteers her time on a number of different boards and serves as President for a non-profit organization. She wants to do it all, because it is ALL important. She is often late to board meetings, leaves early and tends to check her blackberry during meetings. She has so much going on, sometimes it’s hard to keep track of details. The other board members find her behavior rude, notice that there is little progress on action items and questions her commitment.

Does this scenario sound familiar?

Everyone has a different threshold, but notice when you feel overwhelmed or you are not as effective. Listen to feedback. This is the time to prioritize and start saying “No” and commit to what is most important.

Spreading yourself too thin is a sure way to overwhelm yourself while diluting your ability to lead and build loyalty.

Once you’ve said “No” the next steps are the VIP of Positive Leadership: Vision, Influence and Prototype.

Create a Clear VISION:
The Vision focuses you, as the leader, focuses the team and makes your life easier.

Creating a clear vision enables the leader to stay focused, take ownership of what needs to be done and makes leading easier. It also serves to inspire and energize your team to stay “on purpose” by keeping them organized and on target.

INFLUENCE through Encouragement and Support:
Give more than you expect to get from your team. Listen to what they have to offer. Encourage and support each member as individuals.

A sense of loyalty naturally comes forth when a team is encouraged by their leader, their ideas and feedback are heard and they are supported with sincerity. By being an encouraging and supportive leader, you are able to leverage your time and energy on what is important because your team is “effected” and inspired to move forward.

Be a PROTOTYPE :
When you build a strong foundation upon which to emulate, it empowers your team, who then becomes energized to created the next “model” of success.

When you lead by example, people respect you. When your successors improve upon your foundation, this is the ultimate compliment. Being a prototype means you don’t have to know it all - you can learn and grow through the process with your team. Doesn’t that make life easier - to know that you do not have to know it all? What a relief!

Leadership and self care are intertwined in many ways.
Being a great leader empowers your team.
It also enables you to lead a lot easier with less stress and more confidence.

Wishing you a Life with Joy and Ease,
Susan

Technorati Tags: leadership, vision, influence, prototype, role model, stress, confidence, self care

Everyone knows breathing is essential for life - we do it without any thought. However, breath is not only important to the physical functioning of our bodies, but it is also vital to our emotional and spiritual well being. During times of tension or anxiety, oftentimes people will hold their breath (think about watching a suspenseful part of a movie or when you have to give a BIG presentation.) Remember the sigh that usual comes after such moments? We feel relieved, our heart starts to slow down and there is a sense of peace and relaxation.

Why not harness this power of relaxation at will?

During times of stress or when you need to take a moment to relax, help yourself by “taking a breather,” literally! Consciously make a decision to BREATHE and utilize your body’s natural ability to relieve stress - it is free, fast, you can do it anywhere, AND breathing will clear your mind so you can accomplish more!

There are three main parts to breathing - inhaling, exhaling and the “rest” that comes in between them. Inhaling enables the body to get the supply of oxygen it needs for survival. Oxygen is required for proper functioning of all parts of the human body, however, the organ that needs the most is the brain. If the brain does not get ample oxygen, it results in depression, mental sluggishness, irritation and even negative thoughts. Exhaling gets rid of the waste from the body. Without properly flushing out these toxins, the body may experience a build up, which in turn results in disease or mental stress.

In times of stress, not only will “proper breathing” help, but breathing exercises will also help to calm, soothe and relax the body will physically nourish the body while relieving the mind.

Below are some simple, yet effective breathing exercises. When practiced on a regular basis, you will feel Create Better Balance, Accomplish More and Live Easier.

#1. SQUARE BREATHING
Square breathing is an exercise that helps you to slow down and focus on your breathing so you can develop a clearer mind and feel more relaxed.
Take Action! steps to SQUARE BREATHING
1. Sit down comfortably.
2. Inhale to a count of 4.
3. Hold for a count of 4.
4. Exhale to a count f 4.
5. Hold for a count of 4.
6. Repeat from Step #2.

#2. BIKRAM YOGA EXHALE BREATHING (Kapalbhati)
I practice Bikram Yoga and the very last “posture” is a breathing exercise, Kapalbhati, where you exhale forcefully using your abdominal muscles.
Take Action! steps to better EXHALE BREATHING
1. Kneel down, sitting on your heels.
2. Sit up straight with your hands on your knees.
3. Blow out forcefully through your mouth, creating a “shoooo” sound.
4. As you exhale, pull in your stomach, using your abdominal muscles.
5. Relax the stomach and inhale.
6. Repeat steps 3-5 for one minute.

#3. ONE MINUTE BREATHING
This exercise will relax you throughout your day. It literally takes just one minute and will leave you feeling relaxed.
Take Action! steps ONE MINUTE BREATHING
1. Sit comfortably.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Start at 50 and count down, slowly.
4. Make sure to breathe easily.
5. Focus on the numbers as you count down.
6. When you get to zero, take a few breaths.
7. Open your eyes and feel revived!

When you’re feeling stress or tension, learn how to harness the power of relaxation through breathing. Sometimes the best form of self care is to just BREATHE.

Make Happiness Yours!
Susan

Technorati Tags: self care, breathe, relaxation, calm, inhaling, exhaling, well being, stress, health, revitalize, focus, energy

I know I’m jumping the gun, just a little bit, but whenever August rolls around, I always think of the end of summer and the start of my favorite season. . . Autumn.

To me, the Autumn season represents change, transition, new life, growth and development. It is like a new day. It is when kids go back to school, trees shed their leaves and crops are harvested. It’s a wonderful time of year. But then again, I LOVE change, others may not.

Everyone reacts to change in their life differently:
Some embrace the change.
Some purposely create change.
Some enjoy the status quo and try to avoid change as much as possible.

Regardless of your approach to the concept of change, life IS change, change is inevitable.

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” John F. Kennedy.

So how do YOU deal with change in your life?
Does it work for you?

Below I share some three tips on how to bring about change smoothly, easily and naturally. (PS - These tips are great even if you are NOT in transition.)

#1. ENJOY THE RIDE
Transition or not, it’s always refreshing to have a bit of fun! However, particularly during times of change, fun is often forgotten. One way you can bring back a bit of fun is to celebrate your milestones, relish in your discoveries, reward yourself for your successes!
A. List rewards for yourself or ways you want to celebrate.
B. Categorize them into two columns: “Adding Joy” and “The Big Kahuna!” (or whatever labels you like). The “Adding Joy” column is any reward you would like to give yourself for on-going milestones and progress. “The Big Kahuna” column are rewards for larger accomplishments and completion of a big task.
C. Each time you reach a milestone or success on your journey treat yourself by “Adding Joy” or giving yourself “The Big Kahuna!”

#2. REMEMBERING SELF CARE
Too often Self Care is forgotten when people go through transition; this makes it harder. The transition is already bringing a certain amount of stress, it doesn’t make sense to further add to the imbalance in your life by not taking care of your Self. During transition, we end up DOING instead of BEING. Taking time to remember Self Care will enable you to BE while DOING. It will give you a sense of control, revitalization, motivation and relaxation.
A. Think about where you get your energy from.
B. List 5-10 things you can do for yourself in 30 minutes or less (give yourself options to choose!). Some examples might be to stretch, enjoy the fresh air, write in a journal, take a bath, read for 20 minutes, etc.
C. Practice at least 2 items on your list DAILY.

#3. MAKING YOURSELF AT HOME:
Wherever you are in the transitional process, it is important to get a sense of your physical environment and create a space that is comfortable and safe for you. This is different from Self Care in that it is your external environment, whereas Self Care relates to your well-being and inner Self.
A. Think about your definition of Home.
B. Write down 5 things that make it a home for you. It can be tangible items, like flowers or a comfortable couch, or it can be intangible, like the smell or feel or your home.
C. Incorporate at least 3 of these things into your home during transition.

Technorati Tags: Self Care, Transition, Change, Relaxing, Peaceful Environment, Reward

I often live by strong, yet simple principles:
“Do Unto Others”
“Be Real”
“No Regrets”
“Just Do It”
And the list goes on. Okay, it’s not the “Ten Commandments” but they are principles and taglines that remind me not only of who I am, but how I want to live my life.

A few years ago I was awakened by three words that says it all:
Live, Laugh, Love (or “L-cubed”)

The first time I got this message, it was in an email. Actually several emails that came at me at the same time. The content of the emails were different, but in the end, it always had this same message (or a version of it):

“Work as if you have no money. Love as if you have never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And live everyday as if it were your last.”

And then soon after this initial email I received a couple of cards with just three words on the front:
“Live, Laugh, Love”

At first I didn’t think anything of it, but with the second card, I paid attention. Something clicked in my mind and reacted to the message in front of me. At that particular moment, I remembered thinking, “Am I living?” And when I honestly took a step back to look at my life, with my wheels spinning at 100 mph, I realized no, I was NOT living. Not the way I want to be living. I was becoming a member of the walking dead - a zombie.

Then, recalling the Michael Jackson “Thriller” video, I laughed at myself and it felt good. I thought to myself, “I need to do that more often.” Simply laugh. I told myself that I was going to exercise my “laugh muscle” because that takes practice too.

And “Love.” So many other emotions were consuming my heart that Love was getting pushed to the side and toward the back. Love for my work. Love for my family. Love for my friends. Love for the world. Love for myself. As John Lennon says, “All we need is Love.”
It’s so simple, it’s forgettable.

When I made these realizations, my mindset started to shift. I made those three words my motto for the following year and I woke up and walked off the wheel. I started to Live. I began to Laugh again. And I Loved, as often as I could.

Just as I needed that second message, we often need that second (or third) “slap in the face” to tell us and wake us up from the daily grind that we find ourselves in. To wake up and realize that there is more to life than “the grind” or the paycheck or “doing” and spinning our wheels.

Depending on the situation, I still use other mottos and sayings to keep me motivated and inspired, but what follows me internally and deeply with everything I do is to:

“Live, Laugh and Love”

I encourage you to find the motto that works for you. Something that enables you to get into a mindset where you feel joy and know that what you’re doing is right for you. A saying that conjures up the right energy and momentum for when you need it. Words that will help you live a life of passion and purpose.�

Technorati Tags: Live, Laugh, Love, Being in the Present, Living, Balance, Passion, Purpose

“I love my house cleaner, Julie.”
I am constantly reminded of this fact.
Just recently I came back from a 10 day vacation to a tidy, clean, scrubbed down house. It felt great! It wasn’t always like this, however. It took me a while to accept, embrace and truly LOVE Julie as my house cleaner.

I am a “Git-It-Done” kind of person and I’ve always prided myself on the fact that I DO get things done. “Take Action!” is my motto and I live by it, gosh darn it! No matter what it is:
Cooking
Cleaning
Developing my business
Volunteering
Taking care of my family
Walking the dog
Gardening
Taking classes
Having dinner parties
Keeping up with our friends
Networking
Grocery shopping
Laundry
Washing the car
And the list goes on and on. . . . I can “Git-It-Done!” ALL OF IT!

Well, I can’t and I didn’t.

I remember when all was going great until “life happened” and priorities shifted, schedules changed and sometimes things got put on the backburner. Then the dust bunnies mulitplied and when they took over, my home was no longer my “haven.” It turned into something I was tolerating and a source of frustration. Most days I was able to harness the positive and keep my mindset in check, but those few “off” days certainly did not have a positive effect on my mood, my work or my motivation.

Finally, it took my husband to suggest a housekeeper that helped me see the light.

At first I resisted, “No, I can do it. No problem.” Inside I didn’t want to be a failure at being able to manage everything. So I did it, . . . created a schedule, extended my days, started spinning, spinning and spinning. . . until one day I realized I wasn’t LIVING any more, I was just DOING all the time and feeling miserable for my efforts.

And one day it just hit me.
“I” was creating this miserable state.
All my efforts were making me miserable.
“I” have to change.
So I did. And it took a while.

At first I would clean up right before Julie arrived, tidying things up just a bit. It was silly, but I was still holding on to the “I-Can-Do-Everything” mentality. Then one day I had a meeting, did not tidy up and you know what happened? Nothing. She came. She cleaned. It was great! And “I” felt great!

I realized that my letting go of this task, accepting and embracing Julie’s services, was not only important to the state of my physical space and environment, but it was vitally important to my own personal well-being.

I was “cleaning house” in more ways than one. I found that I was feeling better, more productive and felt calm and relaxed. Even though she only comes twice a month while I clean and tidy up throughout the week, I SO appreciate those days that she is here. I walk in to a clean, fresh smelling, tidy home. Let me say it again:

“I LOVE my house cleaner.”

Technorati Tags: delegating, letting go, appreciation, self care, personal change, realization, well-being, positive environment

What kind of vacationer are you?
Do you throw everything into a suitcase at a moments notice?
Or are you at the other end of the spectrum where every minute of your trip is planned out?

Whether you’re structured or spontaneous, the important thing is to TAKE THAT VACATION and create an intention around your vacation: to explore, to discover, to strengthen relationships or just to relax. I call it “intentional vacationing.”

I remember when my vacations were “accidental.” My days off were grouped together with weddings and side business trips and other reasons to travel. Living in Hawaii, I wanted to make the most of every trip that I took off island. Although the time traveling was always wonderful and fun, I was somehow not satisfied. I didn’t feel refreshed and revived and the time spent with my friends and family felt hurried.

I realized the problem was that I was not living in the moment. I was not in the PRESENT.

Since my intentions were not focused on MY VACATION, my “accidental” vacations gave me “incidental” fulfillment and relaxation.

Are you getting the most out of YOUR vacationing?
Are you having “Intentional Vacations?” or are they “Accidental?”

Bringing luggage on vacation is great, but “baggage” on board the trip is no picnic!

To have a great Intentional Vacation, I harness the power of my ability to “Get Lost.” This is the ability to let go of the thoughts and images of the daily grind and just cut loose and lose yourself in your vacation. Again, it has to do with being present, but more importantly, it’s getting into the right mindset to have a fabulous vacation. Have you ever had the experience of going on vacation and not being able to wind down? And then just as you’re able to relax and unwind, it’s time to go back home!

Here are a three steps to creating Intentional Vacations and getting into the mindset.
1. Decide what kind of vacation you want. Is it going to be an adventure and exploration trip? Do you want to make family activities a priority? Or do you want to just purely get down to the basics to relax - eat, sleep, drink and massages!
2. Start with the planning stages BEFORE your go on vacation. Create a checklist of items to bring, required documents, confirmation numbers and reservations and activities.
3. Do NOT plan anything the very first day of your vacation. Take this time to “de-tox,” feel out the location and get in the mindset. I find that if you hit the ground running, it’s a lot harder to stop and the vacation is done before you know it. �

Technorati Tags: vacation, planning, relaxation, balance, being in the present

Everyone knows breathing is essential for life - we do it without any thought. However, breath is not only important to the physical functioning of our bodies, but it is also vital to our emotional and spiritual well being. During times of tension or anxiety, oftentimes people will hold their breath (think about watching a suspenseful part of a movie.) Remember the sigh that usual comes after such moments? We feel relieved, our heart starts to slow down and there is a sense of peace and relaxation.

Why not harness this power of relaxation at will?

During times of stress or when you need to take a moment to relax, help yourself by “taking a breather,” literally! Consciously make a decision to BREATHE and utilize your bodyʼs natural ability to relieve stress - it is free, fast and you can do it anywhere! AND breathing will clear your mind so you can accomplish more! Try these:

At Your Desk (1 minute): Sit up straight (at the edge of your chair) with both feet firmly on the ground. With your hands on your thighs, take a deep breath. Pause. Now take in just a little more breath. Pause. Exhale.

On The Floor (3 minutes): Lie on your back with your legs stretched out. Lower your chin slightly so that your nose is pointing to the ceiling. Put your palms on the lower part of your rib cage. Breathe in and notice your rib cage expanding. Pause. Breathe in a litte more, your ribs expand even more. Pause. Exhale fully, and notice your abdomen moving toward the floor. Repeat.

Anywhere (30 seconds): Yawn. It sounds a little funny, but most people can make themselves yawn. Try it and use your whole body - stretch your arms, stretch your legs out and really FEEL the yawn. Itʼs an amazing relaxer.

Technorati Tags: Stress and Overwhelm, Relaxation, Self Care, Personal Development

Trap #5. GAINING WEIGHT
Yes, we all like to eat and we all know that the holidays will fill our every carbo-craving from mashed potatoes to pumpkin pie, fromcandy corn to stuffing. It’s not just the carbo-loading. . . it’s also the AMOUNT of food we tend to eat.

TIP: Eat, then exercise. Go ahead and eat that second dessert or have the extra helping of potatoes, but then make up for it by going for a long evening walk (at least an hour) or start a football game with your family. You’ll find the exercise refreshing and perhaps be able to spend a little more quality time with friends and family instead of rushing to the next holiday obligation!

Trap #4. TOO MANY OBLIGATIONS
It wouldn’t be the holidays without parties, events, shows, fundraisers - the busy lifestyle. Some people thrive on the pace,
so to those people I say, HAVE FUN! But others may wear themselves down. . .

TIP: It’s okay to say no. If you’re finding that you are spinning your wheels and you’re just not having any fun with the obligations, say no. Skip one event that you really do NOT want to go to and do something you KNOW you enjoy – whether it’s watching a movie, gardening, spending time with your own family or staying at home. What’s the point of ringing holiday cheer with people if you’re not enjoying the moment or the company?

Trap #3. SPENDING TOO MUCH MONEY
The holidays leave you with a full stomach and an empty wallet. You don’t have to stress about finances every time the holidays roll around – you can start planning today for this year AND next!

TIP: Organize all your holiday spending lists - gifts, events, fundraising events, etc. – figure out the cost for each item and then a total. Determine a budget for how much you are ABLE to spend. If they match or you have more in your budget than you want to spend, you’re golden! However, if your budget falls short of what you need there are two things you can do:
1) change your budget and allot more money or
2) cut something(s) out.
Either way it’s up to you and you have to make a decision and accept it. The added benefit of knowing what you want to spend now is that you can plan for next year and reduce potential stress.

Trap #2. FORGETTING YOUR SELF
Buy gifts for everyone, check.
Send holiday cards out, check.
Plan and invite everyone to holiday party, check.
You’ve taken care of everyone and everything else, now it’s time to put your feet up and relax. Pamper your self a little.

TIP: Do something for yourself. Buy yourself a present. Reward yourself with that extra sugary, creamy pumpkin spice
latte with whipped cream (and then take that walk) Or simply, spend 10 minutes with yourself, relaxing, taking a nap, soaking your feet. Remember yourself and give your Self a little bit of that holiday cheer that you’re spreading to everyone else.

Trap #1. GETTING THE HOLIDAY BLUES
Amidst all of the holiday festivities and gatherings of the Holiday Hurricane, sometimes, the whirlwind brings about
the Holiday Blues – missing people, regretting what we have not accomplished in this last year, getting older, and the natural change that comes with the new year. Sometimes it might be a short riff, but for others it may a long improvised Blues solo that lasts through to the new year. Unfortunately it’s human nature to focus on what is “lacking.”

TIP: Focus on what you HAVE and not on what you do NOT have. Focus on who is with you NOW, instead of thinking of those that can’t be with you. Think back to the beginning of the year and think of all the things that you HAVE accomplished this year – recall where you started and how far you’ve come. Sometimes we find ourselves in a place where we begin to focus on what we lack. Instead of singing the blues about the things that “have not,” be thankful for EVERYTHING that “IS.”

Technorati Tags: Stress and Overwhelm, Balance, Organization, Self Care, Holiday, Appreciation