Who do you think are the happiest people in the world?

Would you believe the Danish?

On a recent flight to California, I watched the CBS Eye on AAmerica video that was airing on the plane. The “60 Minutes” piece they showed was about Happiness, so of course my ears perked up immediately. . .

Adrian White, an analytic social psychologist at the University of Leicester developed the first “World Map of Happiness” and ranked Denmark as the happiest nation in the world. This has prompted other academics to do some research of their own to answer the question of WHY.

Ultimately happiness manifests in our lives through purpose and pleasure.

Two main points in the WHY research that I would like to share here:

Have Moderate Expectations - Be Realistic :
The Danish have moderate expectations, so the pressure is off. When something does turn out spectacular, then they are very grateful for it. Compare that with our standard American view where everything needs to be great or outstanding. With those kinds of demands, not only is it unrealistic at times, it’s also very difficult to achieve. When expectations are too high (or unrealistic) and they are not met, people feel a sense of failure which leads to low self esteem, a feeling of discontentment, stress and overall unhappiness.
You can have moderate expectations and still excel greatly in what you do.

Ask yourself: What are your expectations of yourself? Are they realistic?
A suggestion is to start thinking about having HIGH STANDARDS vs. EXPECTATIONS. With Expectations there is a sense of anticipation or looking for something that might happen. With High Standards it is a model or example by which you live and achieve.
A second suggestion, Be Grateful - Honor the Blessings in Your Life.

Do Less - Stay Present:
Americans tend to try to fit in too much. Do Less. Tal Ben-Shahar noted in a study comparing American and European women, it was shown that American women do not particularly enjoy spending time with their children. It wasn’t because they loved their children any less, in fact often children was one of the most important things in their lives. When the researchers dug deeper, they realized that when the women were with their children, they were not really WITH their children - they were not present. Instead they were thinking about what they needed to do next, on email or on the phone. In essence their mind was somewhere else and they were not able to fully enjoy the time spent with their children.

Ask youself: Do you do so much that you do not enjoy the important things in your life?
A suggestion is to simplify your life, do less, choose the important things in your life and be absolutely present with those things.

We certainly can learn something from the Danish and why they are the happiest country in the world, but I believe:

Everyone defines happiness based on what is important and meaningful to them, so achieving happiness in your life is simply a matter of choice.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan?

Technorati Tags: happiness, Tal Ben-Shahar, Adrian White, expectations, stay present

Oftentimes when I sit out in the ocean to surf, I wait. Wait for the sets, wait for the right wave, wait my turn in the lineup. It certainly takes an element of patience out there - sometimes a LOT of patience. Business is a similar practice in patience, especially when we are “floating” in the sea of prospects.

Perhaps you meet someone at a networking event. There is a nice conversation and an exchange of business cards. You’re feeling good - you made a strong connection, you’re sure that this is certainly going to lead to a great business relationship. That evening, you decide to pop a quick email to follow up on your earlier discussion before you go to bed. In the morning you run to your computer in anticipation. You’re thinking the networking is going to pay off! You turn your computer on. . . no email. You hit “Get Mail” again, . . nothing. Your computer screen is silently staring you in the face, thinking, “Now what?” You feel a little let down, but you’re still pretty sure that you will soon get a response.

A day goes by. Nothing.

Two days go by. Nothing.

As each day goes on, you’re feeling more and more dejected. And then after about a week, you start thinking, “Should I call?” “Should I send another email? Maybe they didn’t get my first one.”

Certainly waiting in anticipation can be a true test of one’s patience. But it can also be frustrating and paralyzing to your business.

Business is a practice in patience. But once you master the art of patience, it pays off . . .

I have the pleasure of being the guest speaker at professional and community organizations, like Rotary club. A couple of years ago, after a Rotary meeting, I had a really great conversation with a woman who expressed interest in coaching. We exchanged business cards and she left the meeting telling me, “I’m definitely going to call you.” When I got home I followed up with an email. No response. . . In a couple of weeks I published my newsletter and thought she might like it, so I sent it to her. She didn’t respond. But a month later she wound up signing up for my newsletter. Then after that I didn’t hear from her for 1 whole year . . . when she called to hire me as her coach!

She told me later that I was always in the back of her mind, but she just didn’t get around to calling. BUT she said that she got my newsletters and always appreciated them and then one day it triggered something in her - which is when she called me.

In business, having a system of follow up promotes patience - you know you’re getting in front of your prospect and that they are being exposed to your message, so you don’t have to TRY so hard.

Practicing patience is instrumental in business.
Remember, business is a process - it takes time.
Hang back and wait for THE wave.
When the “wave of the day” comes your way, just ride it . .

With Aloha,
Susan

Technorati Tags: Business Process, Prospects, Networking, Business Resources, Staying In Touch, Patience

One of my favorite pastimes is to watch movies and usually the summer time is great because of all the new releases. This year is no exception. When I went to the movies I notice that this past month I was drawn to two movies in particular, Spiderman 3 and The Fantastic Four: The rise of the Silver Surfer. Comicbook movies are great, because these are the characters that I grew up with.

Most Superheroes are ordinary people with extraordinary skills. What may be the most extraordinary is that even when they assume their “super” roles, they do not lose their humanity - they stay in integrity with who they are.

Take Peter Parker and Spiderman for instance. Peter Parker is a brilliant young man. He is just a regular guy who struggles to make ends meet with his job and he longs to be noticed by the girl of dreams, MJ. As a person he is honest, fair and is just an all-around nice guy. He tries to do the right thing. When his alter-ego takes over and he starts swinging from the tall buildings of New York City, fighting the “bad guys,” he exhibits super strength, power and agility. He can throw cars, stop trains and fight evil villains 100 feet tall! But when you look inside Superman to who he is. . . he is honest, fair and all around nice guy who is trying to do the right thing. Down to the core, he is the same person. Villains on the other hand, may acquire a super skill, but they change, either going insane to become evil, or they were evil down to the core, to begin with.

We all have the ability to harness this extraordinary power and live with integrity.

When we get hit by “life” and our days do not go as smoothly as we like, sometimes it may feel easy to morph into a “villain” of sorts. However, when life throws us challenges and obstacles, if we can harness the power of our own inner “super” strength to be true to who we are, wouldn’t that make us a Superhero too?

The Superhero in YOU is the ability to assess a situation with quick wisdom and take stock of your strength, stamina, power and courage to act accordingly. Here are some steps to apply it in your life:

1. Write down 3-5 characteristics of who you are a person. Think deeply about WHO you are. Not the roles you play (mother, wife) or what job you have each day (entrepreneur, journalist). Break these characteristics down to the essence of WHO you are as a person and what you are about. Finish this sentence: “I am about. . . “

You might use words like: Support, Adventure, Pleaseure, Beauty, Excitement, Caring, Success, Community, etc.

2. Now think of a challenge that you are facing today. A tough one. Something that might bring out your inner “Evil Villain” and really attack your “Superhero.” It can be personal, professional, business or a combination.

3. Think of your “essence” words as a guideline for your integrity. As you face your challenge, think of how you can bring your essence to the forefront and use that as your “secret weapon.” In light of the challenge, show “Support,” “Caring,” “Success.” See how things turn around.

Be a Superhero.

Be a Super You!

Technorati Tags: Superhero, integrity, self, personal development, success, self awareness, being in the present, focus

Is it difficult to make a decision and stick by it?

Do you labor over the smallest decisions?

Making decisions is definitely a responsibility and takes ownership and accountability. Merriam Webster dictionary defines a decision as “a determination arrived at after consideration: CONCLUSION.” To decide means to “to make a final choice or judgment about; to select a course of action.” Is it the definitive nature and conclusion from making a decision that is difficult?

Usually the decisions that are made based on what others think and want are going to be the hardest decisions to make. If you are trying to make choices based on what others think or what you think they want, it will only be a good guess at best. When making a “final choice or judgment,” how comfortable are you with a “guess?”

Easy decisions come from knowing yourself and knowing what you want. Decisions based on your own integrity and standards come easier. The ownership and confidence in the decision follows naturally because it is NOT a guess.

Three Steps To Easier Decision Making:

1. Think about your own integrity - what are your values, what is important to you
2. Develop a set of standards for yourself based on your definition of integrity
3. Live by these standards - make decisions using these guidelines

At first it may be difficult to stick to your own guidelines, but remember, at the end of the day, you are the only one that lives with your decisions and your conscience. Knowing this may help you make the decision thatʼs right for you every time.

Live without regret. Live easier.

Technorati Tags: Decision Making, Standards, Personal Development, Priorities, Goals, Strategy, Focus