How do we open our hearts to appreciate the LOVE of the season without being overwhelmed and stressed by it at the same time?

This is a good question to think about regardless of the time of year. With clear purpose and intentions we can open our hearts and our lives to LOVE without being affected by some of the potential stressors of everyday.

Start by discovering what is most important to you. Once you identify that, it will help keep you focused for what you want in life. Holidays are often filled with activities that drain – think of the reason behind the activity and determine if it is important for your life.
ASK YOURSELF:
What are the things that drain you? Why are you doing it?
Sometimes it could be cultural, traditional or simply out of feeling obligation, but usually there is a reason why you are doing it. Reconnect with that purpose and consider what is important for you in your life right now.

Next, budget your time and money. Planning a little will help prevent overwhelm around these two areas. AND it will enable you to stay more focused on what is important instead of worrying or running around spinning your wheels.
TAKE ACTION:
Budgeting Time – When considering your schedule with family events, volunteer request, holiday parties, travel, business obligations, make your decisions based on the purpose and intention behind the event. Ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Why is this important?
Budgeting Money – Create a budget. It’s that simple. It will help keep your spending focused. Budget for regular expenses, donations, gifts, travel, entertainment, personal and miscellaneous. As you create your budget, think about what is absolutely important to you – again find the purpose and intention behind the spending. If you get caught in the midst of an “impulse” buy (which is easy to do during the holiday sales!) review your budget and consider what you could take off your list in exchange for this “impulsive” purchase. If it is important enough, the replacement will be easy; if it’s difficult, reconsider.

Finally, by taking care of your body, you also take care of your heart, mind and soul. How you feel physically will certainly affect your mindset and vice versa. Taking care of your body through WAG (see below), will enable you to love and fully appreciate because you won’t feel sluggish or sleepy. In fact, you’ll feel energized and happy with your body.
TAKE ACTION:
1. Drink Water
Water is so important to our diets. During the holidays amidst the glasses of eggnog, sodas and wine, water is forgotten. Not only will water re-hydrate and keep the bodily functions moving along, it also helps to fill the body with a non-caloric way to quench your thirst, helping to maintain a healthy diet (see Grazing).
2. Stay Active
Activity is easy to come by during the holidays, but often it’s the likes of going to parties, having drinks, going shopping, etc – not quite the exercise regimen of a healthy lifestyle. You may not have time for the gym, but you can still stay active and keep healthy. For example, park at the opposite end of the mall and walk briskly to your destination – that can be a good 10-20 minute event, depending on the mall. If you can do a full workout, GREAT! But if not, take the stairs, walk, incorporate activity where you can.
3. Graze
Grazing is pretty common during the holidays – food is omnipresent. It is the quantity and what we eat that throws us off balance (and maybe even gaining a pound or two). When grazing, it’s about reducing the size of each meal, not just eating more frequently, so cut your normal portion into half or thirds. Also, when choosing the foods to eat, start by eating a protein, second eat a vegetable, third drink water and finally allow yourself to indulge with a “goodie” if you like. By the time you eat the sugary goodness, at least you will have had some nutritious food AND you will be partially satiated.

The above are my strategies and suggestions. – if they sound good, try them. I encourage you to develop some healthy strategies for yourself.

Technorati Tags: holiday, budget, spending money, time management, activity, self care, season, love, being present

Everyone knows breathing is essential for life - we do it without any thought. However, breath is not only important to the physical functioning of our bodies, but it is also vital to our emotional and spiritual well being. During times of tension or anxiety, oftentimes people will hold their breath (think about watching a suspenseful part of a movie or when you have to give a BIG presentation.) Remember the sigh that usual comes after such moments? We feel relieved, our heart starts to slow down and there is a sense of peace and relaxation.

Why not harness this power of relaxation at will?

During times of stress or when you need to take a moment to relax, help yourself by “taking a breather,” literally! Consciously make a decision to BREATHE and utilize your body’s natural ability to relieve stress - it is free, fast, you can do it anywhere, AND breathing will clear your mind so you can accomplish more!

There are three main parts to breathing - inhaling, exhaling and the “rest” that comes in between them. Inhaling enables the body to get the supply of oxygen it needs for survival. Oxygen is required for proper functioning of all parts of the human body, however, the organ that needs the most is the brain. If the brain does not get ample oxygen, it results in depression, mental sluggishness, irritation and even negative thoughts. Exhaling gets rid of the waste from the body. Without properly flushing out these toxins, the body may experience a build up, which in turn results in disease or mental stress.

In times of stress, not only will “proper breathing” help, but breathing exercises will also help to calm, soothe and relax the body will physically nourish the body while relieving the mind.

Below are some simple, yet effective breathing exercises. When practiced on a regular basis, you will feel Create Better Balance, Accomplish More and Live Easier.

#1. SQUARE BREATHING
Square breathing is an exercise that helps you to slow down and focus on your breathing so you can develop a clearer mind and feel more relaxed.
Take Action! steps to SQUARE BREATHING
1. Sit down comfortably.
2. Inhale to a count of 4.
3. Hold for a count of 4.
4. Exhale to a count f 4.
5. Hold for a count of 4.
6. Repeat from Step #2.

#2. BIKRAM YOGA EXHALE BREATHING (Kapalbhati)
I practice Bikram Yoga and the very last “posture” is a breathing exercise, Kapalbhati, where you exhale forcefully using your abdominal muscles.
Take Action! steps to better EXHALE BREATHING
1. Kneel down, sitting on your heels.
2. Sit up straight with your hands on your knees.
3. Blow out forcefully through your mouth, creating a “shoooo” sound.
4. As you exhale, pull in your stomach, using your abdominal muscles.
5. Relax the stomach and inhale.
6. Repeat steps 3-5 for one minute.

#3. ONE MINUTE BREATHING
This exercise will relax you throughout your day. It literally takes just one minute and will leave you feeling relaxed.
Take Action! steps ONE MINUTE BREATHING
1. Sit comfortably.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Start at 50 and count down, slowly.
4. Make sure to breathe easily.
5. Focus on the numbers as you count down.
6. When you get to zero, take a few breaths.
7. Open your eyes and feel revived!

When you’re feeling stress or tension, learn how to harness the power of relaxation through breathing. Sometimes the best form of self care is to just BREATHE.

Make Happiness Yours!
Susan

Technorati Tags: self care, breathe, relaxation, calm, inhaling, exhaling, well being, stress, health, revitalize, focus, energy

The International Coach Federation Annual Conference will be held in Long Beach, California!

I will be attending the conference and helping my friends at Compass Life and Business Designs at their booth. Would love to meet you, so come and visit me at the Compass booth!

DETAILS:
Date: Wednesday, October 31st - Saturday, November 3rd, 2007
Time: 8:00am - 6:00pm (hours vary each day)
Location: Long Beach Convention Center

Hope to see you there!

Technorati Tags: International Coach Federation, Conference, Long Beach, Compass, Exhibitor

They say that “No man is an island,” and I would have to agree. Whether in business or in your personal life, relationships matter and have a large impact on your well being. As people, we were made to relate and be companions to each other, so when your relationships are confused and unhappy, our lives feel the same.

Relationships influence our body, mind and spirit. Do you notice that after a difficult phase in life your body feels tired, drained? Have you been caught in a moment of pure love for someone and felt the rush of energy? Is it hard to concentrate and focus when there is “drama” in your relationships - good or bad? Then you know what I mean.

Although relating is natural for us, sometimes our relationships are not quite where we want them to be or perhaps they are even hurting us. The best way to enhance your relationships is to improve your Self. Think about it, the common factor in all of your relationships is YOU!

Just like we have to exercise our muscles to be fit, we also have to “work out” our relationships to be healthy and strong.

Below are three Take Action! tips on how to “exercise” your relationships to strengthen and tone up.

#1. RELATIONSHIP SYSTEM
A relationship is a system that combines two individual systems - “You” and “Me” (the other person in the relationship), where each individual affects the outcome of the relationship. Given this model, think about how you are affecting the system. Each adjustment of your actions will somehow change the overall system.
Take Action! - Try it out. . .change your behavior just a little by tweaking something in your relationship. Start with something small. A good exercise to begin is to make a list of three columns:
Column #1: List the challenges/difficulties in your relationship.
Column #2: Write out the usual reaction/response when this situation occurs.
Column #3: Write out how you’re going to “tweak” it - give yourself some options to look at and then decide on one.

#2. RELATIONSHIPS START WITH YOU
The key to the “Relationship System” is that each individual is a separate whole person and is in integrity within themselves, not relying on or being dependent on the other. The relationship winds up being a natural and organic result of two people coming together to enhance the world of the other. Therefore, a healthy relationship starts with a healthy “You,” mentally, physically and spiritually.
Take Action! - Think about how you are contributing to the challenge you listed in #1. Also ask yourself honestly and with integrity, “What will it take for me to be complete?” Start taking care of your Self, giving to your Self and allowing your Self to LIVE. Not only will YOU feel great, but your relationships will improve in parallel!

#3. BOUNDARIES, NOT A MOAT
Relationships are about connecting with people, but boundaries enable us to protect ourselves from the potentially damaging affects of the world around us by discerning negative influences that surround us. Boundaries protect the individual from harm from the outside by letting the right people and behavior in, it does not serve to keep people out like a moat.
Take Action! - Top Three Steps to Building Boundaries:
1. Start Right Away -the sooner you start creating boundaries, the easier it becomes.
2. Be Clear - the better you can articulate your boundaries, the easier it is for others to understand and honor them.
3. Create Fair Boundaries - test your boundaries by asking if you would accept the boundary for someone else. If it is difficult to do, then ask yourself if it’s a fair boundary and adjust.

Technorati Tags: balance, relationships, boundaries, self care, personal development, action, accountability, couples

I know I’m jumping the gun, just a little bit, but whenever August rolls around, I always think of the end of summer and the start of my favorite season. . . Autumn.

To me, the Autumn season represents change, transition, new life, growth and development. It is like a new day. It is when kids go back to school, trees shed their leaves and crops are harvested. It’s a wonderful time of year. But then again, I LOVE change, others may not.

Everyone reacts to change in their life differently:
Some embrace the change.
Some purposely create change.
Some enjoy the status quo and try to avoid change as much as possible.

Regardless of your approach to the concept of change, life IS change, change is inevitable.

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” John F. Kennedy.

So how do YOU deal with change in your life?
Does it work for you?

Below I share some three tips on how to bring about change smoothly, easily and naturally. (PS - These tips are great even if you are NOT in transition.)

#1. ENJOY THE RIDE
Transition or not, it’s always refreshing to have a bit of fun! However, particularly during times of change, fun is often forgotten. One way you can bring back a bit of fun is to celebrate your milestones, relish in your discoveries, reward yourself for your successes!
A. List rewards for yourself or ways you want to celebrate.
B. Categorize them into two columns: “Adding Joy” and “The Big Kahuna!” (or whatever labels you like). The “Adding Joy” column is any reward you would like to give yourself for on-going milestones and progress. “The Big Kahuna” column are rewards for larger accomplishments and completion of a big task.
C. Each time you reach a milestone or success on your journey treat yourself by “Adding Joy” or giving yourself “The Big Kahuna!”

#2. REMEMBERING SELF CARE
Too often Self Care is forgotten when people go through transition; this makes it harder. The transition is already bringing a certain amount of stress, it doesn’t make sense to further add to the imbalance in your life by not taking care of your Self. During transition, we end up DOING instead of BEING. Taking time to remember Self Care will enable you to BE while DOING. It will give you a sense of control, revitalization, motivation and relaxation.
A. Think about where you get your energy from.
B. List 5-10 things you can do for yourself in 30 minutes or less (give yourself options to choose!). Some examples might be to stretch, enjoy the fresh air, write in a journal, take a bath, read for 20 minutes, etc.
C. Practice at least 2 items on your list DAILY.

#3. MAKING YOURSELF AT HOME:
Wherever you are in the transitional process, it is important to get a sense of your physical environment and create a space that is comfortable and safe for you. This is different from Self Care in that it is your external environment, whereas Self Care relates to your well-being and inner Self.
A. Think about your definition of Home.
B. Write down 5 things that make it a home for you. It can be tangible items, like flowers or a comfortable couch, or it can be intangible, like the smell or feel or your home.
C. Incorporate at least 3 of these things into your home during transition.

Technorati Tags: Self Care, Transition, Change, Relaxing, Peaceful Environment, Reward

I often live by strong, yet simple principles:
“Do Unto Others”
“Be Real”
“No Regrets”
“Just Do It”
And the list goes on. Okay, it’s not the “Ten Commandments” but they are principles and taglines that remind me not only of who I am, but how I want to live my life.

A few years ago I was awakened by three words that says it all:
Live, Laugh, Love (or “L-cubed”)

The first time I got this message, it was in an email. Actually several emails that came at me at the same time. The content of the emails were different, but in the end, it always had this same message (or a version of it):

“Work as if you have no money. Love as if you have never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And live everyday as if it were your last.”

And then soon after this initial email I received a couple of cards with just three words on the front:
“Live, Laugh, Love”

At first I didn’t think anything of it, but with the second card, I paid attention. Something clicked in my mind and reacted to the message in front of me. At that particular moment, I remembered thinking, “Am I living?” And when I honestly took a step back to look at my life, with my wheels spinning at 100 mph, I realized no, I was NOT living. Not the way I want to be living. I was becoming a member of the walking dead - a zombie.

Then, recalling the Michael Jackson “Thriller” video, I laughed at myself and it felt good. I thought to myself, “I need to do that more often.” Simply laugh. I told myself that I was going to exercise my “laugh muscle” because that takes practice too.

And “Love.” So many other emotions were consuming my heart that Love was getting pushed to the side and toward the back. Love for my work. Love for my family. Love for my friends. Love for the world. Love for myself. As John Lennon says, “All we need is Love.”
It’s so simple, it’s forgettable.

When I made these realizations, my mindset started to shift. I made those three words my motto for the following year and I woke up and walked off the wheel. I started to Live. I began to Laugh again. And I Loved, as often as I could.

Just as I needed that second message, we often need that second (or third) “slap in the face” to tell us and wake us up from the daily grind that we find ourselves in. To wake up and realize that there is more to life than “the grind” or the paycheck or “doing” and spinning our wheels.

Depending on the situation, I still use other mottos and sayings to keep me motivated and inspired, but what follows me internally and deeply with everything I do is to:

“Live, Laugh and Love”

I encourage you to find the motto that works for you. Something that enables you to get into a mindset where you feel joy and know that what you’re doing is right for you. A saying that conjures up the right energy and momentum for when you need it. Words that will help you live a life of passion and purpose.�

Technorati Tags: Live, Laugh, Love, Being in the Present, Living, Balance, Passion, Purpose

What kind of vacationer are you?
Do you throw everything into a suitcase at a moments notice?
Or are you at the other end of the spectrum where every minute of your trip is planned out?

Whether you’re structured or spontaneous, the important thing is to TAKE THAT VACATION and create an intention around your vacation: to explore, to discover, to strengthen relationships or just to relax. I call it “intentional vacationing.”

I remember when my vacations were “accidental.” My days off were grouped together with weddings and side business trips and other reasons to travel. Living in Hawaii, I wanted to make the most of every trip that I took off island. Although the time traveling was always wonderful and fun, I was somehow not satisfied. I didn’t feel refreshed and revived and the time spent with my friends and family felt hurried.

I realized the problem was that I was not living in the moment. I was not in the PRESENT.

Since my intentions were not focused on MY VACATION, my “accidental” vacations gave me “incidental” fulfillment and relaxation.

Are you getting the most out of YOUR vacationing?
Are you having “Intentional Vacations?” or are they “Accidental?”

Bringing luggage on vacation is great, but “baggage” on board the trip is no picnic!

To have a great Intentional Vacation, I harness the power of my ability to “Get Lost.” This is the ability to let go of the thoughts and images of the daily grind and just cut loose and lose yourself in your vacation. Again, it has to do with being present, but more importantly, it’s getting into the right mindset to have a fabulous vacation. Have you ever had the experience of going on vacation and not being able to wind down? And then just as you’re able to relax and unwind, it’s time to go back home!

Here are a three steps to creating Intentional Vacations and getting into the mindset.
1. Decide what kind of vacation you want. Is it going to be an adventure and exploration trip? Do you want to make family activities a priority? Or do you want to just purely get down to the basics to relax - eat, sleep, drink and massages!
2. Start with the planning stages BEFORE your go on vacation. Create a checklist of items to bring, required documents, confirmation numbers and reservations and activities.
3. Do NOT plan anything the very first day of your vacation. Take this time to “de-tox,” feel out the location and get in the mindset. I find that if you hit the ground running, it’s a lot harder to stop and the vacation is done before you know it. �

Technorati Tags: vacation, planning, relaxation, balance, being in the present

“Get Ready For Life” is my brand of time management.

Managing time is one of the keys to achieving harmony and happiness in our lives. However, getting a handle on the fast moving and intangible notion of time can be “slippery.”

Oftentimes “having more time” also makes “balanced” sense - being able to spend more time with family, having an abundance of time to accomplish business goals, or just having the luxury of taking time out for your Self.

As part of the Compass Life Designs “Remodel Your Reality 30 Day Challenge” in May, I challenge you to “Get Ready for Life.” Improve your time management so you can be ready for whatever life brings!

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” Robert Frost.

Don’t let life pass you by -
Get Organized, Get Focused and Get Ready For Life!

Go to Compass Life Designs’ Self Care Expert Section to read my blog and learn how to better manage your time so that you have the freedom to live the way you want to!

Make Happiness Yours!
Susan

Technorati Tags: time, balance, coaching, life, compass life designs, self care, happiness, organization, focus

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007, 4:30pm-6pm
Central Pacific Bank, Kahului, HI

Feeling tired?
Stressed?
Do you feel overwhelmed?
Do you want to start LIVING instead of just surviving?

Break the cycle of stress and burnout by taking time out and practicing Self-Care. Learn ways to prepare your mind, body and spirit for times of stress. These tools are used for a quick pick-me-up or for long term balance and relaxation.

* * * * * EVENT DETAILS * * * * *

DATE: Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007
TIME: 4:30pm - 6:00pm (Program starts at 5:00pm)
LOCATION: Central Pacific Bank, Wailuku Branch
REGISTRATION INFO: RSVP to Desiree Ting (808-249-2574) or desiree.ting@centralpacificbank.com
RSVP by Friday, May 18th, 2007

Everyone knows breathing is essential for life - we do it without any thought. However, breath is not only important to the physical functioning of our bodies, but it is also vital to our emotional and spiritual well being. During times of tension or anxiety, oftentimes people will hold their breath (think about watching a suspenseful part of a movie.) Remember the sigh that usual comes after such moments? We feel relieved, our heart starts to slow down and there is a sense of peace and relaxation.

Why not harness this power of relaxation at will?

During times of stress or when you need to take a moment to relax, help yourself by “taking a breather,” literally! Consciously make a decision to BREATHE and utilize your bodyʼs natural ability to relieve stress - it is free, fast and you can do it anywhere! AND breathing will clear your mind so you can accomplish more! Try these:

At Your Desk (1 minute): Sit up straight (at the edge of your chair) with both feet firmly on the ground. With your hands on your thighs, take a deep breath. Pause. Now take in just a little more breath. Pause. Exhale.

On The Floor (3 minutes): Lie on your back with your legs stretched out. Lower your chin slightly so that your nose is pointing to the ceiling. Put your palms on the lower part of your rib cage. Breathe in and notice your rib cage expanding. Pause. Breathe in a litte more, your ribs expand even more. Pause. Exhale fully, and notice your abdomen moving toward the floor. Repeat.

Anywhere (30 seconds): Yawn. It sounds a little funny, but most people can make themselves yawn. Try it and use your whole body - stretch your arms, stretch your legs out and really FEEL the yawn. Itʼs an amazing relaxer.

Technorati Tags: Stress and Overwhelm, Relaxation, Self Care, Personal Development