Talking about technology this month has brought out the “geek” in me – who doesn’t like the bright and shiny objects that dangle in front of us? However, sometimes we purchase the “upgrade” just because it’s there, not necessarily out of purposeful intention or because it is a good choice.

The important questions to ask yourself are:
How does it benefit your life TODAY?
Does it upgrade your lifestyle?
What systems in your life need to be “tweaked?”

Distinguishing between trinkets that serve you and enhance your life VS. those that make your life more difficult and stressful, is a great tool to have. It helps you to make choices on a daily basis that suit you and makes life EASIER for you.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technology used to benefit our self care can make a huge difference in how we organize and plan.

1 1/2 years ago when I changed from carrying a separate cell phone and palm pilot to ONE Palm Treo that served both for me, it was the best thing I could have done! I had always utilized various systems to help me organize - Franklin Covey, Day Planners, the Palm Pilot – but the Palm Treo helped me take it one step further and really helped me be more efficient throughout my week.

The fact that I have all my contacts in one place makes it easier to update/revise and/or access my contact information. It was cumbersome to maintain when I had three separate places for my contacts: my pda, my cell phone AND my contact software on my laptop. Now it’s all in once spot, saving me time, energy and sweat! With the extra time, I do a little more yoga or walk my dog.

TAKE ACTION! CHALLENGE:
Life does not have to be hard work. Instead of working hard to maintain technology, let technology work hard for you.
How can you improve your daily “system” to incorporate technology for you to enhance your life, to “upgrade” life?

Another example would be my coffee maker. I purposely bought a coffee maker with the brew timer. It’s easier for me to set up the coffee the night before and have fresh brewed coffee ready for me in the morning when I wake up! Now I just have to get someone to bring it to me in bed. . .

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Sometimes technology doesn’t serve us, no matter how bright and shiny the object might be. Sometimes we “upgrade” just for the sake of upgrading, which doesn’t always benefit us.

Made me really stop to think about some other things in my life that I do on “automatic” that does not serve me TODAY. For example:

• Membership renewals – some I don’t take full advantage of the membership.
• Cell phone package – I can find a better, more efficient minute plan based on my usage.
• Our recycling bins – we tend to save up more bottles before we drop them off (we don’t have local pick up), and our old system just doesn’t work any more.

It could also be “bigger” things, like financial planning. Usually we just plug in money to our retirement plans and forget about it. This is something that is also on automatic that may need a little “tweaking” TODAY – depending on your lifestyle and financial goals.

TAKE ACTION!
What other things in your life need a little tweaking?
Getting into “automatic” mode can be beneficial when we set up systems to make our lives easier. However, sometimes we get comfortable and continue along the same path, even if it doesn’t necessarily make sense any more. It’s always a good idea to periodically review and revise so that you keep what is relevant to your life TODAY – and discard those things that are not.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

We have an e-cycling event coming up this month, where they collect unwanted electronic equipment. Last week I dug out some of my own boxes of old trinkets and I hit the motherload! I pulled out at least 4 old palm pilots, 2 cell phones, a Bluetooth and about 10 extra USB cords and adapters, not to mention a dozen accessories I no longer use. I could start my own little electronics store business!

It got me thinking, why do I have all of this stuff? Other than the obvious answer – I bought it! Or rather . . I’d been sold!

Through constant marketing campaigns and my fondness for new shiny things, I got sucked into the “next versions” and “newer models.” I realized it was my version of “Keeping up with the Jones’.” I was just “Jonesin’” for cool stuff or in today’s language, . . . I wanted to upgrade.

Made me really think about what I need vs what I want vs what is pure vanity.

In my personal Self Care practice, I’ve tried to reduce my clutter and pack-rat-ness. Now I’m slowly moving toward what is “natural” and moving away from technology for the sake of the shininess of it all. To be fair, since discovering the Palm Treo about a 1 1/2 years ago, I have not needed another palm OR cell phone (the Treo is both for me now). I like to think that I’ve reduced my carbon footprint by at least 50% but . . . don’t hold me it just yet (wink).

Granted, technology is a hobby for some and a lifestyle for others. But I challenge you to think about:

What “trinkets” in your life are serving you. . . and what doesn’t. And how does it benefit (or inhibit) your Self Care?

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!
At least for those of us who live in the United States and celebrate this holiday. Other than the freedoms and the patriotic feelings I get as a proud American, I also think of summer, sunshine, BBQ’s and VACATION!

Last year I wrote an article, “Get Lost - Vacationing with Intention“about the importance of intention and getting the most out of your vacation. I still consider this relevant and encourage you to check out that article to put you in the right mindset for your time off.

However, this month I’m going to focus on various vacation tips I want to share with you so you can prepare, plan and make your vacation as painless and pleasurable as possible.

In the coming weeks, you can learn about:
Tips to Finding a Pet Sitter
Tips to Save Money on Vacation
Tips to Inexpensive Activities

Come back throughout the month and visit to get the most recent Tips update.

Today, however, I’ll share how I prepare for my vacations. The first step for me is to create a checklist of: (1) what I need to do NOW, before I go, (2) what I want to do DURING the trip and (3) what needs to be taken care of while I’m away. This gives me an opportunity to organize my thoughts and even dream a little about my vacation.

(When I was planning for my New Zealand trip, it gave me a chance each evening to do a little online research about where I wanted to go and what I wanted to see. That was a fun process!)

TAKE ACTION TOOL!
Here are some steps to organize and prepare for your trip.
A. List out the To-Do’s that are on your mind and everything you need to plan your time.
B. Separate them into 4 categories:

(1) VACATION :
Things you want to do during your time away - sight-seeing, restaurants, tours, etc.
My recommendation is to keep the whole list, but prioritize the activities and make sure you plan your top #1 and #2 activities. In the long run, it will also help you on your vacation because you will have already decided what is important to you to do. Include your whole family on this exercise so you’re all on the same page.

(2) PACKING:
Everything that you ABSOLUTELY need on the trip.
Remember, most places that you’re traveling to will have things like shampoo and conditioner, which can add weight to your luggage (which you might have to pay for now!). My recommendation is to pack light, leaving extra room for things that you want to bring home, like souvenirs!

(3) HOME:
Things that need to be taken care of BEFORE you leave, like holding the mail, stopping the newspaper delivery, putting the sprinkler on a timer, etc.
The checklist is handy to keep for when you RETURN and want to resume service.

(4) WORK:
Things that need to be handled BEFORE you leave as well as preparing for project maintanence while you’re gone.
Most people prepare their work fairly well before a trip, but oftentimes will check voicemail or email while on vacation. As an added challenge, prepare as if you will be out of communication with the office for your entire trip. You might be amazed at how well you can prepare for your own absence. . . AND it will also give you a totally work free vacation - isn’t that what a vacation is about anyway?!?!

Organizing and listing thing out helps to plan and prepare so you can fully enjoy your time off. Also, it can help to keep you positive with a little vacation dream in sight each day.

Check back for more TIPS in the coming weeks.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: independence day, travel, vacation, tips, saving money

Who do you think are the happiest people in the world?

Would you believe the Danish?

On a recent flight to California, I watched the CBS Eye on AAmerica video that was airing on the plane. The “60 Minutes” piece they showed was about Happiness, so of course my ears perked up immediately. . .

Adrian White, an analytic social psychologist at the University of Leicester developed the first “World Map of Happiness” and ranked Denmark as the happiest nation in the world. This has prompted other academics to do some research of their own to answer the question of WHY.

Ultimately happiness manifests in our lives through purpose and pleasure.

Two main points in the WHY research that I would like to share here:

Have Moderate Expectations - Be Realistic :
The Danish have moderate expectations, so the pressure is off. When something does turn out spectacular, then they are very grateful for it. Compare that with our standard American view where everything needs to be great or outstanding. With those kinds of demands, not only is it unrealistic at times, it’s also very difficult to achieve. When expectations are too high (or unrealistic) and they are not met, people feel a sense of failure which leads to low self esteem, a feeling of discontentment, stress and overall unhappiness.
You can have moderate expectations and still excel greatly in what you do.

Ask yourself: What are your expectations of yourself? Are they realistic?
A suggestion is to start thinking about having HIGH STANDARDS vs. EXPECTATIONS. With Expectations there is a sense of anticipation or looking for something that might happen. With High Standards it is a model or example by which you live and achieve.
A second suggestion, Be Grateful - Honor the Blessings in Your Life.

Do Less - Stay Present:
Americans tend to try to fit in too much. Do Less. Tal Ben-Shahar noted in a study comparing American and European women, it was shown that American women do not particularly enjoy spending time with their children. It wasn’t because they loved their children any less, in fact often children was one of the most important things in their lives. When the researchers dug deeper, they realized that when the women were with their children, they were not really WITH their children - they were not present. Instead they were thinking about what they needed to do next, on email or on the phone. In essence their mind was somewhere else and they were not able to fully enjoy the time spent with their children.

Ask youself: Do you do so much that you do not enjoy the important things in your life?
A suggestion is to simplify your life, do less, choose the important things in your life and be absolutely present with those things.

We certainly can learn something from the Danish and why they are the happiest country in the world, but I believe:

Everyone defines happiness based on what is important and meaningful to them, so achieving happiness in your life is simply a matter of choice.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan?

Technorati Tags: happiness, Tal Ben-Shahar, Adrian White, expectations, stay present

Penguins are cool!
In Oamaru, New Zealand, I saw the blue penguin.

Each night, the blue penguins swim to shore and live in burrows in the ground. These are the smallest penguins on earth at 9.8 inches (25cm) tall and weighing approximately 2.5 lbs. (a little over 1 kg). They have beautiful slate-blue plumage with a bright white belly.

Although these animals are such small creatures, they have a presence larger than life. They usually arrive on the beach in groups. They wait until the whole group is on land, then they proceed up the hill to their underground dwellings further inland where they start to quack and get social.

It is incredible to me that these tiny creatures are able to survive long journeys in the ocean with predators swimming literally amongst them. At sea, their lives are threatened by sharks, sea lions and leopard seals, not to mention the natural challenges of the ocean.

I feel like they survive for three key reasons: camouflage, community and consistency. They are camouflaged from both above and below having white bellies and blue backs so they are hidden from their predators. Their sense of community is very strong, they stick together as a group in the water and on land. For the most part they have life long partners; there is only a 6% “divorce” rate each year. Finally they have a consistent routine - each night they follow the same path and come ashore to the same underground burrows they call home.

TAKE ACTION! TIP:
We can certainly learn some survival and self care techniques from these penguins. Build appropriate “camouflage” (or boundaries) from “predators” or those that can harm us. Have a support system (whether one person or multiple people) that you can rely upon to prevent (and during) times of stress. Develop consistency in your life – consistency does not mean structure, it means a sense of reliability and authenticity.

Hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend!
See you next week!

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan
email: info@susankimcoaching.com

How do you find balance amidst all of your responsibilities and duties?
How do you lead effectively without overwhelm?

The answer not only has to do with self care and balance, but in a large part has to do with leadership - a positive style of leadership.

The first step is to learn how to recognize your personal threshold and say “No.”

Think of “Jody.” She owns her own successful business. She is a member of three different business networking organizations, where she is highly involved. She also believes in community, so voluteers her time on a number of different boards and serves as President for a non-profit organization. She wants to do it all, because it is ALL important. She is often late to board meetings, leaves early and tends to check her blackberry during meetings. She has so much going on, sometimes it’s hard to keep track of details. The other board members find her behavior rude, notice that there is little progress on action items and questions her commitment.

Does this scenario sound familiar?

Everyone has a different threshold, but notice when you feel overwhelmed or you are not as effective. Listen to feedback. This is the time to prioritize and start saying “No” and commit to what is most important.

Spreading yourself too thin is a sure way to overwhelm yourself while diluting your ability to lead and build loyalty.

Once you’ve said “No” the next steps are the VIP of Positive Leadership: Vision, Influence and Prototype.

Create a Clear VISION:
The Vision focuses you, as the leader, focuses the team and makes your life easier.

Creating a clear vision enables the leader to stay focused, take ownership of what needs to be done and makes leading easier. It also serves to inspire and energize your team to stay “on purpose” by keeping them organized and on target.

INFLUENCE through Encouragement and Support:
Give more than you expect to get from your team. Listen to what they have to offer. Encourage and support each member as individuals.

A sense of loyalty naturally comes forth when a team is encouraged by their leader, their ideas and feedback are heard and they are supported with sincerity. By being an encouraging and supportive leader, you are able to leverage your time and energy on what is important because your team is “effected” and inspired to move forward.

Be a PROTOTYPE :
When you build a strong foundation upon which to emulate, it empowers your team, who then becomes energized to created the next “model” of success.

When you lead by example, people respect you. When your successors improve upon your foundation, this is the ultimate compliment. Being a prototype means you don’t have to know it all - you can learn and grow through the process with your team. Doesn’t that make life easier - to know that you do not have to know it all? What a relief!

Leadership and self care are intertwined in many ways.
Being a great leader empowers your team.
It also enables you to lead a lot easier with less stress and more confidence.

Wishing you a Life with Joy and Ease,
Susan

Technorati Tags: leadership, vision, influence, prototype, role model, stress, confidence, self care

How do we open our hearts to appreciate the LOVE of the season without being overwhelmed and stressed by it at the same time?

This is a good question to think about regardless of the time of year. With clear purpose and intentions we can open our hearts and our lives to LOVE without being affected by some of the potential stressors of everyday.

Start by discovering what is most important to you. Once you identify that, it will help keep you focused for what you want in life. Holidays are often filled with activities that drain – think of the reason behind the activity and determine if it is important for your life.
ASK YOURSELF:
What are the things that drain you? Why are you doing it?
Sometimes it could be cultural, traditional or simply out of feeling obligation, but usually there is a reason why you are doing it. Reconnect with that purpose and consider what is important for you in your life right now.

Next, budget your time and money. Planning a little will help prevent overwhelm around these two areas. AND it will enable you to stay more focused on what is important instead of worrying or running around spinning your wheels.
TAKE ACTION:
Budgeting Time – When considering your schedule with family events, volunteer request, holiday parties, travel, business obligations, make your decisions based on the purpose and intention behind the event. Ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Why is this important?
Budgeting Money – Create a budget. It’s that simple. It will help keep your spending focused. Budget for regular expenses, donations, gifts, travel, entertainment, personal and miscellaneous. As you create your budget, think about what is absolutely important to you – again find the purpose and intention behind the spending. If you get caught in the midst of an “impulse” buy (which is easy to do during the holiday sales!) review your budget and consider what you could take off your list in exchange for this “impulsive” purchase. If it is important enough, the replacement will be easy; if it’s difficult, reconsider.

Finally, by taking care of your body, you also take care of your heart, mind and soul. How you feel physically will certainly affect your mindset and vice versa. Taking care of your body through WAG (see below), will enable you to love and fully appreciate because you won’t feel sluggish or sleepy. In fact, you’ll feel energized and happy with your body.
TAKE ACTION:
1. Drink Water
Water is so important to our diets. During the holidays amidst the glasses of eggnog, sodas and wine, water is forgotten. Not only will water re-hydrate and keep the bodily functions moving along, it also helps to fill the body with a non-caloric way to quench your thirst, helping to maintain a healthy diet (see Grazing).
2. Stay Active
Activity is easy to come by during the holidays, but often it’s the likes of going to parties, having drinks, going shopping, etc – not quite the exercise regimen of a healthy lifestyle. You may not have time for the gym, but you can still stay active and keep healthy. For example, park at the opposite end of the mall and walk briskly to your destination – that can be a good 10-20 minute event, depending on the mall. If you can do a full workout, GREAT! But if not, take the stairs, walk, incorporate activity where you can.
3. Graze
Grazing is pretty common during the holidays – food is omnipresent. It is the quantity and what we eat that throws us off balance (and maybe even gaining a pound or two). When grazing, it’s about reducing the size of each meal, not just eating more frequently, so cut your normal portion into half or thirds. Also, when choosing the foods to eat, start by eating a protein, second eat a vegetable, third drink water and finally allow yourself to indulge with a “goodie” if you like. By the time you eat the sugary goodness, at least you will have had some nutritious food AND you will be partially satiated.

The above are my strategies and suggestions. – if they sound good, try them. I encourage you to develop some healthy strategies for yourself.

Technorati Tags: holiday, budget, spending money, time management, activity, self care, season, love, being present

Everyone knows breathing is essential for life - we do it without any thought. However, breath is not only important to the physical functioning of our bodies, but it is also vital to our emotional and spiritual well being. During times of tension or anxiety, oftentimes people will hold their breath (think about watching a suspenseful part of a movie or when you have to give a BIG presentation.) Remember the sigh that usual comes after such moments? We feel relieved, our heart starts to slow down and there is a sense of peace and relaxation.

Why not harness this power of relaxation at will?

During times of stress or when you need to take a moment to relax, help yourself by “taking a breather,” literally! Consciously make a decision to BREATHE and utilize your body’s natural ability to relieve stress - it is free, fast, you can do it anywhere, AND breathing will clear your mind so you can accomplish more!

There are three main parts to breathing - inhaling, exhaling and the “rest” that comes in between them. Inhaling enables the body to get the supply of oxygen it needs for survival. Oxygen is required for proper functioning of all parts of the human body, however, the organ that needs the most is the brain. If the brain does not get ample oxygen, it results in depression, mental sluggishness, irritation and even negative thoughts. Exhaling gets rid of the waste from the body. Without properly flushing out these toxins, the body may experience a build up, which in turn results in disease or mental stress.

In times of stress, not only will “proper breathing” help, but breathing exercises will also help to calm, soothe and relax the body will physically nourish the body while relieving the mind.

Below are some simple, yet effective breathing exercises. When practiced on a regular basis, you will feel Create Better Balance, Accomplish More and Live Easier.

#1. SQUARE BREATHING
Square breathing is an exercise that helps you to slow down and focus on your breathing so you can develop a clearer mind and feel more relaxed.
Take Action! steps to SQUARE BREATHING
1. Sit down comfortably.
2. Inhale to a count of 4.
3. Hold for a count of 4.
4. Exhale to a count f 4.
5. Hold for a count of 4.
6. Repeat from Step #2.

#2. BIKRAM YOGA EXHALE BREATHING (Kapalbhati)
I practice Bikram Yoga and the very last “posture” is a breathing exercise, Kapalbhati, where you exhale forcefully using your abdominal muscles.
Take Action! steps to better EXHALE BREATHING
1. Kneel down, sitting on your heels.
2. Sit up straight with your hands on your knees.
3. Blow out forcefully through your mouth, creating a “shoooo” sound.
4. As you exhale, pull in your stomach, using your abdominal muscles.
5. Relax the stomach and inhale.
6. Repeat steps 3-5 for one minute.

#3. ONE MINUTE BREATHING
This exercise will relax you throughout your day. It literally takes just one minute and will leave you feeling relaxed.
Take Action! steps ONE MINUTE BREATHING
1. Sit comfortably.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Start at 50 and count down, slowly.
4. Make sure to breathe easily.
5. Focus on the numbers as you count down.
6. When you get to zero, take a few breaths.
7. Open your eyes and feel revived!

When you’re feeling stress or tension, learn how to harness the power of relaxation through breathing. Sometimes the best form of self care is to just BREATHE.

Make Happiness Yours!
Susan

Technorati Tags: self care, breathe, relaxation, calm, inhaling, exhaling, well being, stress, health, revitalize, focus, energy