Penguins are cool!
In Oamaru, New Zealand, I saw the blue penguin.

Each night, the blue penguins swim to shore and live in burrows in the ground. These are the smallest penguins on earth at 9.8 inches (25cm) tall and weighing approximately 2.5 lbs. (a little over 1 kg). They have beautiful slate-blue plumage with a bright white belly.

Although these animals are such small creatures, they have a presence larger than life. They usually arrive on the beach in groups. They wait until the whole group is on land, then they proceed up the hill to their underground dwellings further inland where they start to quack and get social.

It is incredible to me that these tiny creatures are able to survive long journeys in the ocean with predators swimming literally amongst them. At sea, their lives are threatened by sharks, sea lions and leopard seals, not to mention the natural challenges of the ocean.

I feel like they survive for three key reasons: camouflage, community and consistency. They are camouflaged from both above and below having white bellies and blue backs so they are hidden from their predators. Their sense of community is very strong, they stick together as a group in the water and on land. For the most part they have life long partners; there is only a 6% “divorce” rate each year. Finally they have a consistent routine - each night they follow the same path and come ashore to the same underground burrows they call home.

TAKE ACTION! TIP:
We can certainly learn some survival and self care techniques from these penguins. Build appropriate “camouflage” (or boundaries) from “predators” or those that can harm us. Have a support system (whether one person or multiple people) that you can rely upon to prevent (and during) times of stress. Develop consistency in your life – consistency does not mean structure, it means a sense of reliability and authenticity.

Hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend!
See you next week!

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan
email: info@susankimcoaching.com

Have you ever seen a real live glacier?
It’s an incredibly awe inspiring experience. To think that this is water flow from the Ice Age, is absolutely amazing! Seeing the glacier from the outside is beautiful - it looks like a river, frozen in time. But then when you travel further inside, you find cracks and crevices that are filled with stories and experience that reveal even more about the glacier’s “personality.” What a wealth of history trapped in the ice. If only the glacier could talk! What did it experience yesterday that effects how it is today?

Much like the glacier, oftentimes there is rich beauty, history and experience within people that we do not readily see. These stories are hidden behind a protective shell or perhaps takes time to be uncovered. When we make the effort to understand people’s history, their perspective, then WE grow, WE learn, WE are enriched. Doing so also strengthens bonds through better understanding and develops a relationship to a deeper level.

I can’t help but think about the benefits in business when we understand the story of our clients, our vendors, our colleagues. The knowledge not only brings a new insight in order to provide improved service, but it also naturally creates a deeper level of trust.

Relationships built on trust and understanding – whether in business or in personal life – certainly makes life easier. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

TAKE ACTION! TIP:
Just like the glacier, there is an abundance of beauty under the surface of each person we encounter. Take time to discover and understand the hidden stories behind the people in your life.
I would love to hear your stories about this.
Comment on this blog or write to me at info@susankimcoaching.com about support, encouragement and inspiration in YOUR life.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: perspectives, understanding, relationships, trust, glacier, hidden stories, history

In Kaikoura we swam with the dolphins! Not in a tank or a huge pool – we swam with the dolphins on THEIR terms, in THEIR natural setting – the Pacific Ocean.

The staff donned us with our wetsuits and snorkel gear, drove us out into the middle of the ocean where we found a pod of about 100 dusky dolphins. We jumped off into the middle of the swimming pod and did our best to grab their attention, with the staff’s recommendations – making funny noises, diving (as dolphins would), swimming and trying to catch their eye. At first I was skeptical that their suggested methods would work – how could WE get THEIR attention and entertain THEM? Then we caught the attention of our first dolphin and my husband flipped, spun and held their eye contact. . . it worked! They spun right along side of him!
I thought, “This is amazing! We’re actually communicating with them by speaking THEIR language!” And it made sense. We’re in their environment, so it only makes sense that we adapt our communication style to how they would understand us. Once we did, the interaction was a lot easier and mutually entertaining and fun.

TAKE ACTION! TIP:
When you find yourself in a new setting, a new environment or amidst strangers, feel more comfortable by learning to speak THEIR language. Do this by asking them questions and listening. Everyone has their own personal “language.” Once you open up to that language and start relating, in no time you’ll find that you’re interacting more easily and building a solid relationship.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: communication, meeting new people, perspectives, dolphins, communication lessons, interaction, adapting, relating

How do you find balance amidst all of your responsibilities and duties?
How do you lead effectively without overwhelm?

The answer not only has to do with self care and balance, but in a large part has to do with leadership - a positive style of leadership.

The first step is to learn how to recognize your personal threshold and say “No.”

Think of “Jody.” She owns her own successful business. She is a member of three different business networking organizations, where she is highly involved. She also believes in community, so voluteers her time on a number of different boards and serves as President for a non-profit organization. She wants to do it all, because it is ALL important. She is often late to board meetings, leaves early and tends to check her blackberry during meetings. She has so much going on, sometimes it’s hard to keep track of details. The other board members find her behavior rude, notice that there is little progress on action items and questions her commitment.

Does this scenario sound familiar?

Everyone has a different threshold, but notice when you feel overwhelmed or you are not as effective. Listen to feedback. This is the time to prioritize and start saying “No” and commit to what is most important.

Spreading yourself too thin is a sure way to overwhelm yourself while diluting your ability to lead and build loyalty.

Once you’ve said “No” the next steps are the VIP of Positive Leadership: Vision, Influence and Prototype.

Create a Clear VISION:
The Vision focuses you, as the leader, focuses the team and makes your life easier.

Creating a clear vision enables the leader to stay focused, take ownership of what needs to be done and makes leading easier. It also serves to inspire and energize your team to stay “on purpose” by keeping them organized and on target.

INFLUENCE through Encouragement and Support:
Give more than you expect to get from your team. Listen to what they have to offer. Encourage and support each member as individuals.

A sense of loyalty naturally comes forth when a team is encouraged by their leader, their ideas and feedback are heard and they are supported with sincerity. By being an encouraging and supportive leader, you are able to leverage your time and energy on what is important because your team is “effected” and inspired to move forward.

Be a PROTOTYPE :
When you build a strong foundation upon which to emulate, it empowers your team, who then becomes energized to created the next “model” of success.

When you lead by example, people respect you. When your successors improve upon your foundation, this is the ultimate compliment. Being a prototype means you don’t have to know it all - you can learn and grow through the process with your team. Doesn’t that make life easier - to know that you do not have to know it all? What a relief!

Leadership and self care are intertwined in many ways.
Being a great leader empowers your team.
It also enables you to lead a lot easier with less stress and more confidence.

Wishing you a Life with Joy and Ease,
Susan

Technorati Tags: leadership, vision, influence, prototype, role model, stress, confidence, self care

They say that “No man is an island,” and I would have to agree. Whether in business or in your personal life, relationships matter and have a large impact on your well being. As people, we were made to relate and be companions to each other, so when your relationships are confused and unhappy, our lives feel the same.

Relationships influence our body, mind and spirit. Do you notice that after a difficult phase in life your body feels tired, drained? Have you been caught in a moment of pure love for someone and felt the rush of energy? Is it hard to concentrate and focus when there is “drama” in your relationships - good or bad? Then you know what I mean.

Although relating is natural for us, sometimes our relationships are not quite where we want them to be or perhaps they are even hurting us. The best way to enhance your relationships is to improve your Self. Think about it, the common factor in all of your relationships is YOU!

Just like we have to exercise our muscles to be fit, we also have to “work out” our relationships to be healthy and strong.

Below are three Take Action! tips on how to “exercise” your relationships to strengthen and tone up.

#1. RELATIONSHIP SYSTEM
A relationship is a system that combines two individual systems - “You” and “Me” (the other person in the relationship), where each individual affects the outcome of the relationship. Given this model, think about how you are affecting the system. Each adjustment of your actions will somehow change the overall system.
Take Action! - Try it out. . .change your behavior just a little by tweaking something in your relationship. Start with something small. A good exercise to begin is to make a list of three columns:
Column #1: List the challenges/difficulties in your relationship.
Column #2: Write out the usual reaction/response when this situation occurs.
Column #3: Write out how you’re going to “tweak” it - give yourself some options to look at and then decide on one.

#2. RELATIONSHIPS START WITH YOU
The key to the “Relationship System” is that each individual is a separate whole person and is in integrity within themselves, not relying on or being dependent on the other. The relationship winds up being a natural and organic result of two people coming together to enhance the world of the other. Therefore, a healthy relationship starts with a healthy “You,” mentally, physically and spiritually.
Take Action! - Think about how you are contributing to the challenge you listed in #1. Also ask yourself honestly and with integrity, “What will it take for me to be complete?” Start taking care of your Self, giving to your Self and allowing your Self to LIVE. Not only will YOU feel great, but your relationships will improve in parallel!

#3. BOUNDARIES, NOT A MOAT
Relationships are about connecting with people, but boundaries enable us to protect ourselves from the potentially damaging affects of the world around us by discerning negative influences that surround us. Boundaries protect the individual from harm from the outside by letting the right people and behavior in, it does not serve to keep people out like a moat.
Take Action! - Top Three Steps to Building Boundaries:
1. Start Right Away -the sooner you start creating boundaries, the easier it becomes.
2. Be Clear - the better you can articulate your boundaries, the easier it is for others to understand and honor them.
3. Create Fair Boundaries - test your boundaries by asking if you would accept the boundary for someone else. If it is difficult to do, then ask yourself if it’s a fair boundary and adjust.

Technorati Tags: balance, relationships, boundaries, self care, personal development, action, accountability, couples

Oftentimes when I sit out in the ocean to surf, I wait. Wait for the sets, wait for the right wave, wait my turn in the lineup. It certainly takes an element of patience out there - sometimes a LOT of patience. Business is a similar practice in patience, especially when we are “floating” in the sea of prospects.

Perhaps you meet someone at a networking event. There is a nice conversation and an exchange of business cards. You’re feeling good - you made a strong connection, you’re sure that this is certainly going to lead to a great business relationship. That evening, you decide to pop a quick email to follow up on your earlier discussion before you go to bed. In the morning you run to your computer in anticipation. You’re thinking the networking is going to pay off! You turn your computer on. . . no email. You hit “Get Mail” again, . . nothing. Your computer screen is silently staring you in the face, thinking, “Now what?” You feel a little let down, but you’re still pretty sure that you will soon get a response.

A day goes by. Nothing.

Two days go by. Nothing.

As each day goes on, you’re feeling more and more dejected. And then after about a week, you start thinking, “Should I call?” “Should I send another email? Maybe they didn’t get my first one.”

Certainly waiting in anticipation can be a true test of one’s patience. But it can also be frustrating and paralyzing to your business.

Business is a practice in patience. But once you master the art of patience, it pays off . . .

I have the pleasure of being the guest speaker at professional and community organizations, like Rotary club. A couple of years ago, after a Rotary meeting, I had a really great conversation with a woman who expressed interest in coaching. We exchanged business cards and she left the meeting telling me, “I’m definitely going to call you.” When I got home I followed up with an email. No response. . . In a couple of weeks I published my newsletter and thought she might like it, so I sent it to her. She didn’t respond. But a month later she wound up signing up for my newsletter. Then after that I didn’t hear from her for 1 whole year . . . when she called to hire me as her coach!

She told me later that I was always in the back of her mind, but she just didn’t get around to calling. BUT she said that she got my newsletters and always appreciated them and then one day it triggered something in her - which is when she called me.

In business, having a system of follow up promotes patience - you know you’re getting in front of your prospect and that they are being exposed to your message, so you don’t have to TRY so hard.

Practicing patience is instrumental in business.
Remember, business is a process - it takes time.
Hang back and wait for THE wave.
When the “wave of the day” comes your way, just ride it . .

With Aloha,
Susan

Technorati Tags: Business Process, Prospects, Networking, Business Resources, Staying In Touch, Patience

In order to stay inspired, to take action and to move toward what you REALLY want in life, oftentimes it entails learning - learning something new, different or just discovering something within ourselves. The best way to learn something is to teach it. If you want a deeper understanding of a topic or your want to move forward and gain more success, teach that which you want to learn.

Why does this work?
The short answer is that in order to teach, you have to have a clear understanding of the topic at hand. The path to that understanding means that you naturally learn, but teaching it takes it one level deeper - you express the material in your own words and thoughts - you make it your own.

Because learning is an organic, interactive process, the nature of having students asking “why” strengthens your knowledge and opens up for a creative dialogue. A great teacher empowers others to discover the same ownership and clear understanding (this is also the mark of a great leader as well).

The next time youʼre struggling to explain something, trying to wrap your head around a concept, write a proposal, give a presentation, put together your 60-second elevator speech or just learn something new; try this:

1. Ask yourself, “What questions did I start with?” and “How would I explain this to someone else?”
2. Formulate how you can clearly and succinctly communicate the material.
3. Teach it to someone else.

Not only do YOU learn better, you also share knowledge and growth with others.

Technorati Tags: Education and Learning, Communication, Goals, Strategy, Focus, Personal Development, Business Development, Results, Action

Speaking is still a very common fear. The fear of speaking is not limited to public speaking. It also includes much more common occasions, such as talking to someone at a party, speaking to a supervisor, or just providing feedback during a meeting.

How many great ideas have not been expressed because of this fear?

Ironically, this fear is not based on a tangible or life-threatening source; it comes from our own beliefs and perceptions; it comes from what is in our minds.

How many great ideas have YOU not expressed because of this fear?

Since this fear is based on beliefs, it can be eradicated by beliefs.
If you believe in yourself and your message, you will discover the passion and confidence to speak your mind.

THREE STEPS TO SPEAK WITH CONFIDENCE

1. Get Over The Fear - Think of a time in your life where it is more important to speak up than to remain silent (e.g. for a promotion, to honor someone, when you see an injustice, to express love and gratitude, to land a client, to remember a loved one with a eulogy). Write this on an index card and look at it to remind you that this is more important than your fear - your message is more powerful than this fear.

2. Know Yourself Better - Being clear and really understanding your own thoughts will enable you to manifest better in words and speech. Get clear.

3. Be Yourself - Leo Buscaglia said, “The easiest thing in the world is to be you. The most difficult thing is to be what other people want you to be.” You donʼt have to “perform” to be heard. Sincerity has a loud voice and is always appreciated.

Technorati Tags: Being in the Present, Communication, Confidence, Challenge, Goals, Personal Development, Results

Have you noticed that:

It’s easier (or more comfortable) for most to send an email than pick up the phone.
Despite the overwhelming use of cell phones, it’s harder to actually reach someone.
A voicemail is now considered an acceptable form of communication.
Technology has made it almost acceptable to ignore the person you’re with, ie talking on a cell phone at lunch or text messaging someone during a meeting.

You get the idea, no one is actually talking to each other!
Today “talking” has been replaced with a string of emails or a game of phone tag.
And the worst thing about it is that, this method of communicating has become acceptable!

However, if you ask anyone, what are the most important things in life?
Most people will include relationships/companionship as one of the answers.

• Families want more time to spend with their loved ones.
• Friends rely on mutual support and understanding.
• Professionals are more likely to leave a job because of an interpersonal conflict and not feeling valued, rather than because of a specific project or task.
• Clients demand better customer service and overall value from a purchase.
• Businesses grow based on customer loyalty, so they invest resources to build that trust.

In order to foster the important relationships in our lives, it takes two vital ingredients: time and communication.

Most strong relationships are built on trust and consistency, both of which show up over time.
In addition, there is usually an understanding or a shared bond between the two parties, which can only be the result of true communication.

So when we take the time to communicate (the actual exchange of information both by talking and listening), we start to develop lasting relationships and it feels good for both parties involved.

Think of the last time you got a call from a friend who just called to say “hello,” how did it make you feel?

What if your boss took the time to ask about your weekend, and actually stopped to listen?
How would that help your productivity?

What if a company cared about your opinions enough to ask what you REALLY want?
Then what if that company created a product that was designed specifically for you?
Would you be a loyal customer?

How would you feel if you were on the giving end?
What if you are that friend? What if you are that boss? What if you are that company?
I’m guessing it would make you feel pretty good too.

Discovery Tip: Take Time To Communicate

For the next week, communicate with as many people as you can.
(1) Instead of sending an email, pick up the phone to chat.
(2) Ask a colleague about their weekend- and stop to really listen.
(3) Get feedback from a client regarding your product/services - what do they REALLY want?

Notice the reactions you are getting and any feelings associated with your communication.
Notice if it makes a difference with your relationships, both personally and professionally.
Notice how YOU feel.

Technorati Tags: Communication, Business Development, Relationships, Action