Sometimes technology doesn’t serve us, no matter how bright and shiny the object might be. Sometimes we “upgrade” just for the sake of upgrading, which doesn’t always benefit us.

Made me really stop to think about some other things in my life that I do on “automatic” that does not serve me TODAY. For example:

• Membership renewals – some I don’t take full advantage of the membership.
• Cell phone package – I can find a better, more efficient minute plan based on my usage.
• Our recycling bins – we tend to save up more bottles before we drop them off (we don’t have local pick up), and our old system just doesn’t work any more.

It could also be “bigger” things, like financial planning. Usually we just plug in money to our retirement plans and forget about it. This is something that is also on automatic that may need a little “tweaking” TODAY – depending on your lifestyle and financial goals.

TAKE ACTION!
What other things in your life need a little tweaking?
Getting into “automatic” mode can be beneficial when we set up systems to make our lives easier. However, sometimes we get comfortable and continue along the same path, even if it doesn’t necessarily make sense any more. It’s always a good idea to periodically review and revise so that you keep what is relevant to your life TODAY – and discard those things that are not.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

We have an e-cycling event coming up this month, where they collect unwanted electronic equipment. Last week I dug out some of my own boxes of old trinkets and I hit the motherload! I pulled out at least 4 old palm pilots, 2 cell phones, a Bluetooth and about 10 extra USB cords and adapters, not to mention a dozen accessories I no longer use. I could start my own little electronics store business!

It got me thinking, why do I have all of this stuff? Other than the obvious answer – I bought it! Or rather . . I’d been sold!

Through constant marketing campaigns and my fondness for new shiny things, I got sucked into the “next versions” and “newer models.” I realized it was my version of “Keeping up with the Jones’.” I was just “Jonesin’” for cool stuff or in today’s language, . . . I wanted to upgrade.

Made me really think about what I need vs what I want vs what is pure vanity.

In my personal Self Care practice, I’ve tried to reduce my clutter and pack-rat-ness. Now I’m slowly moving toward what is “natural” and moving away from technology for the sake of the shininess of it all. To be fair, since discovering the Palm Treo about a 1 1/2 years ago, I have not needed another palm OR cell phone (the Treo is both for me now). I like to think that I’ve reduced my carbon footprint by at least 50% but . . . don’t hold me it just yet (wink).

Granted, technology is a hobby for some and a lifestyle for others. But I challenge you to think about:

What “trinkets” in your life are serving you. . . and what doesn’t. And how does it benefit (or inhibit) your Self Care?

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Who do you think are the happiest people in the world?

Would you believe the Danish?

On a recent flight to California, I watched the CBS Eye on AAmerica video that was airing on the plane. The “60 Minutes” piece they showed was about Happiness, so of course my ears perked up immediately. . .

Adrian White, an analytic social psychologist at the University of Leicester developed the first “World Map of Happiness” and ranked Denmark as the happiest nation in the world. This has prompted other academics to do some research of their own to answer the question of WHY.

Ultimately happiness manifests in our lives through purpose and pleasure.

Two main points in the WHY research that I would like to share here:

Have Moderate Expectations - Be Realistic :
The Danish have moderate expectations, so the pressure is off. When something does turn out spectacular, then they are very grateful for it. Compare that with our standard American view where everything needs to be great or outstanding. With those kinds of demands, not only is it unrealistic at times, it’s also very difficult to achieve. When expectations are too high (or unrealistic) and they are not met, people feel a sense of failure which leads to low self esteem, a feeling of discontentment, stress and overall unhappiness.
You can have moderate expectations and still excel greatly in what you do.

Ask yourself: What are your expectations of yourself? Are they realistic?
A suggestion is to start thinking about having HIGH STANDARDS vs. EXPECTATIONS. With Expectations there is a sense of anticipation or looking for something that might happen. With High Standards it is a model or example by which you live and achieve.
A second suggestion, Be Grateful - Honor the Blessings in Your Life.

Do Less - Stay Present:
Americans tend to try to fit in too much. Do Less. Tal Ben-Shahar noted in a study comparing American and European women, it was shown that American women do not particularly enjoy spending time with their children. It wasn’t because they loved their children any less, in fact often children was one of the most important things in their lives. When the researchers dug deeper, they realized that when the women were with their children, they were not really WITH their children - they were not present. Instead they were thinking about what they needed to do next, on email or on the phone. In essence their mind was somewhere else and they were not able to fully enjoy the time spent with their children.

Ask youself: Do you do so much that you do not enjoy the important things in your life?
A suggestion is to simplify your life, do less, choose the important things in your life and be absolutely present with those things.

We certainly can learn something from the Danish and why they are the happiest country in the world, but I believe:

Everyone defines happiness based on what is important and meaningful to them, so achieving happiness in your life is simply a matter of choice.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan?

Technorati Tags: happiness, Tal Ben-Shahar, Adrian White, expectations, stay present

In Kaikoura we swam with the dolphins! Not in a tank or a huge pool – we swam with the dolphins on THEIR terms, in THEIR natural setting – the Pacific Ocean.

The staff donned us with our wetsuits and snorkel gear, drove us out into the middle of the ocean where we found a pod of about 100 dusky dolphins. We jumped off into the middle of the swimming pod and did our best to grab their attention, with the staff’s recommendations – making funny noises, diving (as dolphins would), swimming and trying to catch their eye. At first I was skeptical that their suggested methods would work – how could WE get THEIR attention and entertain THEM? Then we caught the attention of our first dolphin and my husband flipped, spun and held their eye contact. . . it worked! They spun right along side of him!
I thought, “This is amazing! We’re actually communicating with them by speaking THEIR language!” And it made sense. We’re in their environment, so it only makes sense that we adapt our communication style to how they would understand us. Once we did, the interaction was a lot easier and mutually entertaining and fun.

TAKE ACTION! TIP:
When you find yourself in a new setting, a new environment or amidst strangers, feel more comfortable by learning to speak THEIR language. Do this by asking them questions and listening. Everyone has their own personal “language.” Once you open up to that language and start relating, in no time you’ll find that you’re interacting more easily and building a solid relationship.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: communication, meeting new people, perspectives, dolphins, communication lessons, interaction, adapting, relating

There is nothing like taking a two week trip – without email, cell phone, laptop. Can you say. . . “AH!”

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my laptop and the convenience of all of my electronic tchotchkes, but I realized that time doesn’t stop without them. . . REALLY! And in fact, time did not have a problem moving quickly without them either - time flew!

Fittingly, I spent the technology deficient weeks in gorgeous New Zealand where the rolling green hills, the beautiful glaciers and the grazing sheep represent a pure land without the amenities of modernization. If you want a flavor of New Zealand, check out the movie, Lord of the Rings. Much of the movie was filmed in director’s Peter Jackson’s homeland of New Zealand and they did not even need cgi to enhance it.

My husband and I rented a camper van and got back into nature and how inspiring it is! Believe it or not it was not only personally and emotionally inspiring, but it was also professionally inspiring, giving me great energy and motivation for business. Just imagine the clarity of thought swimming with dolphins, walking in glacier country and seeing the nocturnal migration of penguins. Naturally awe inspiring.

Imagine being dropped into the middle of 100 dolphins swimming. . . and trying to entertain THEM to get their attention! Inspired me to build better practices of communication. . . read how next week!

Next week – “Swimming with Dolphins”
Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: inspiration, travel, New Zealand, energy, self care, motivation, communication, clarity

How do we open our hearts to appreciate the LOVE of the season without being overwhelmed and stressed by it at the same time?

This is a good question to think about regardless of the time of year. With clear purpose and intentions we can open our hearts and our lives to LOVE without being affected by some of the potential stressors of everyday.

Start by discovering what is most important to you. Once you identify that, it will help keep you focused for what you want in life. Holidays are often filled with activities that drain – think of the reason behind the activity and determine if it is important for your life.
ASK YOURSELF:
What are the things that drain you? Why are you doing it?
Sometimes it could be cultural, traditional or simply out of feeling obligation, but usually there is a reason why you are doing it. Reconnect with that purpose and consider what is important for you in your life right now.

Next, budget your time and money. Planning a little will help prevent overwhelm around these two areas. AND it will enable you to stay more focused on what is important instead of worrying or running around spinning your wheels.
TAKE ACTION:
Budgeting Time – When considering your schedule with family events, volunteer request, holiday parties, travel, business obligations, make your decisions based on the purpose and intention behind the event. Ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Why is this important?
Budgeting Money – Create a budget. It’s that simple. It will help keep your spending focused. Budget for regular expenses, donations, gifts, travel, entertainment, personal and miscellaneous. As you create your budget, think about what is absolutely important to you – again find the purpose and intention behind the spending. If you get caught in the midst of an “impulse” buy (which is easy to do during the holiday sales!) review your budget and consider what you could take off your list in exchange for this “impulsive” purchase. If it is important enough, the replacement will be easy; if it’s difficult, reconsider.

Finally, by taking care of your body, you also take care of your heart, mind and soul. How you feel physically will certainly affect your mindset and vice versa. Taking care of your body through WAG (see below), will enable you to love and fully appreciate because you won’t feel sluggish or sleepy. In fact, you’ll feel energized and happy with your body.
TAKE ACTION:
1. Drink Water
Water is so important to our diets. During the holidays amidst the glasses of eggnog, sodas and wine, water is forgotten. Not only will water re-hydrate and keep the bodily functions moving along, it also helps to fill the body with a non-caloric way to quench your thirst, helping to maintain a healthy diet (see Grazing).
2. Stay Active
Activity is easy to come by during the holidays, but often it’s the likes of going to parties, having drinks, going shopping, etc – not quite the exercise regimen of a healthy lifestyle. You may not have time for the gym, but you can still stay active and keep healthy. For example, park at the opposite end of the mall and walk briskly to your destination – that can be a good 10-20 minute event, depending on the mall. If you can do a full workout, GREAT! But if not, take the stairs, walk, incorporate activity where you can.
3. Graze
Grazing is pretty common during the holidays – food is omnipresent. It is the quantity and what we eat that throws us off balance (and maybe even gaining a pound or two). When grazing, it’s about reducing the size of each meal, not just eating more frequently, so cut your normal portion into half or thirds. Also, when choosing the foods to eat, start by eating a protein, second eat a vegetable, third drink water and finally allow yourself to indulge with a “goodie” if you like. By the time you eat the sugary goodness, at least you will have had some nutritious food AND you will be partially satiated.

The above are my strategies and suggestions. – if they sound good, try them. I encourage you to develop some healthy strategies for yourself.

Technorati Tags: holiday, budget, spending money, time management, activity, self care, season, love, being present

Everyone knows breathing is essential for life - we do it without any thought. However, breath is not only important to the physical functioning of our bodies, but it is also vital to our emotional and spiritual well being. During times of tension or anxiety, oftentimes people will hold their breath (think about watching a suspenseful part of a movie or when you have to give a BIG presentation.) Remember the sigh that usual comes after such moments? We feel relieved, our heart starts to slow down and there is a sense of peace and relaxation.

Why not harness this power of relaxation at will?

During times of stress or when you need to take a moment to relax, help yourself by “taking a breather,” literally! Consciously make a decision to BREATHE and utilize your body’s natural ability to relieve stress - it is free, fast, you can do it anywhere, AND breathing will clear your mind so you can accomplish more!

There are three main parts to breathing - inhaling, exhaling and the “rest” that comes in between them. Inhaling enables the body to get the supply of oxygen it needs for survival. Oxygen is required for proper functioning of all parts of the human body, however, the organ that needs the most is the brain. If the brain does not get ample oxygen, it results in depression, mental sluggishness, irritation and even negative thoughts. Exhaling gets rid of the waste from the body. Without properly flushing out these toxins, the body may experience a build up, which in turn results in disease or mental stress.

In times of stress, not only will “proper breathing” help, but breathing exercises will also help to calm, soothe and relax the body will physically nourish the body while relieving the mind.

Below are some simple, yet effective breathing exercises. When practiced on a regular basis, you will feel Create Better Balance, Accomplish More and Live Easier.

#1. SQUARE BREATHING
Square breathing is an exercise that helps you to slow down and focus on your breathing so you can develop a clearer mind and feel more relaxed.
Take Action! steps to SQUARE BREATHING
1. Sit down comfortably.
2. Inhale to a count of 4.
3. Hold for a count of 4.
4. Exhale to a count f 4.
5. Hold for a count of 4.
6. Repeat from Step #2.

#2. BIKRAM YOGA EXHALE BREATHING (Kapalbhati)
I practice Bikram Yoga and the very last “posture” is a breathing exercise, Kapalbhati, where you exhale forcefully using your abdominal muscles.
Take Action! steps to better EXHALE BREATHING
1. Kneel down, sitting on your heels.
2. Sit up straight with your hands on your knees.
3. Blow out forcefully through your mouth, creating a “shoooo” sound.
4. As you exhale, pull in your stomach, using your abdominal muscles.
5. Relax the stomach and inhale.
6. Repeat steps 3-5 for one minute.

#3. ONE MINUTE BREATHING
This exercise will relax you throughout your day. It literally takes just one minute and will leave you feeling relaxed.
Take Action! steps ONE MINUTE BREATHING
1. Sit comfortably.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Start at 50 and count down, slowly.
4. Make sure to breathe easily.
5. Focus on the numbers as you count down.
6. When you get to zero, take a few breaths.
7. Open your eyes and feel revived!

When you’re feeling stress or tension, learn how to harness the power of relaxation through breathing. Sometimes the best form of self care is to just BREATHE.

Make Happiness Yours!
Susan

Technorati Tags: self care, breathe, relaxation, calm, inhaling, exhaling, well being, stress, health, revitalize, focus, energy

I know I’m jumping the gun, just a little bit, but whenever August rolls around, I always think of the end of summer and the start of my favorite season. . . Autumn.

To me, the Autumn season represents change, transition, new life, growth and development. It is like a new day. It is when kids go back to school, trees shed their leaves and crops are harvested. It’s a wonderful time of year. But then again, I LOVE change, others may not.

Everyone reacts to change in their life differently:
Some embrace the change.
Some purposely create change.
Some enjoy the status quo and try to avoid change as much as possible.

Regardless of your approach to the concept of change, life IS change, change is inevitable.

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” John F. Kennedy.

So how do YOU deal with change in your life?
Does it work for you?

Below I share some three tips on how to bring about change smoothly, easily and naturally. (PS - These tips are great even if you are NOT in transition.)

#1. ENJOY THE RIDE
Transition or not, it’s always refreshing to have a bit of fun! However, particularly during times of change, fun is often forgotten. One way you can bring back a bit of fun is to celebrate your milestones, relish in your discoveries, reward yourself for your successes!
A. List rewards for yourself or ways you want to celebrate.
B. Categorize them into two columns: “Adding Joy” and “The Big Kahuna!” (or whatever labels you like). The “Adding Joy” column is any reward you would like to give yourself for on-going milestones and progress. “The Big Kahuna” column are rewards for larger accomplishments and completion of a big task.
C. Each time you reach a milestone or success on your journey treat yourself by “Adding Joy” or giving yourself “The Big Kahuna!”

#2. REMEMBERING SELF CARE
Too often Self Care is forgotten when people go through transition; this makes it harder. The transition is already bringing a certain amount of stress, it doesn’t make sense to further add to the imbalance in your life by not taking care of your Self. During transition, we end up DOING instead of BEING. Taking time to remember Self Care will enable you to BE while DOING. It will give you a sense of control, revitalization, motivation and relaxation.
A. Think about where you get your energy from.
B. List 5-10 things you can do for yourself in 30 minutes or less (give yourself options to choose!). Some examples might be to stretch, enjoy the fresh air, write in a journal, take a bath, read for 20 minutes, etc.
C. Practice at least 2 items on your list DAILY.

#3. MAKING YOURSELF AT HOME:
Wherever you are in the transitional process, it is important to get a sense of your physical environment and create a space that is comfortable and safe for you. This is different from Self Care in that it is your external environment, whereas Self Care relates to your well-being and inner Self.
A. Think about your definition of Home.
B. Write down 5 things that make it a home for you. It can be tangible items, like flowers or a comfortable couch, or it can be intangible, like the smell or feel or your home.
C. Incorporate at least 3 of these things into your home during transition.

Technorati Tags: Self Care, Transition, Change, Relaxing, Peaceful Environment, Reward

One of my favorite pastimes is to watch movies and usually the summer time is great because of all the new releases. This year is no exception. When I went to the movies I notice that this past month I was drawn to two movies in particular, Spiderman 3 and The Fantastic Four: The rise of the Silver Surfer. Comicbook movies are great, because these are the characters that I grew up with.

Most Superheroes are ordinary people with extraordinary skills. What may be the most extraordinary is that even when they assume their “super” roles, they do not lose their humanity - they stay in integrity with who they are.

Take Peter Parker and Spiderman for instance. Peter Parker is a brilliant young man. He is just a regular guy who struggles to make ends meet with his job and he longs to be noticed by the girl of dreams, MJ. As a person he is honest, fair and is just an all-around nice guy. He tries to do the right thing. When his alter-ego takes over and he starts swinging from the tall buildings of New York City, fighting the “bad guys,” he exhibits super strength, power and agility. He can throw cars, stop trains and fight evil villains 100 feet tall! But when you look inside Superman to who he is. . . he is honest, fair and all around nice guy who is trying to do the right thing. Down to the core, he is the same person. Villains on the other hand, may acquire a super skill, but they change, either going insane to become evil, or they were evil down to the core, to begin with.

We all have the ability to harness this extraordinary power and live with integrity.

When we get hit by “life” and our days do not go as smoothly as we like, sometimes it may feel easy to morph into a “villain” of sorts. However, when life throws us challenges and obstacles, if we can harness the power of our own inner “super” strength to be true to who we are, wouldn’t that make us a Superhero too?

The Superhero in YOU is the ability to assess a situation with quick wisdom and take stock of your strength, stamina, power and courage to act accordingly. Here are some steps to apply it in your life:

1. Write down 3-5 characteristics of who you are a person. Think deeply about WHO you are. Not the roles you play (mother, wife) or what job you have each day (entrepreneur, journalist). Break these characteristics down to the essence of WHO you are as a person and what you are about. Finish this sentence: “I am about. . . “

You might use words like: Support, Adventure, Pleaseure, Beauty, Excitement, Caring, Success, Community, etc.

2. Now think of a challenge that you are facing today. A tough one. Something that might bring out your inner “Evil Villain” and really attack your “Superhero.” It can be personal, professional, business or a combination.

3. Think of your “essence” words as a guideline for your integrity. As you face your challenge, think of how you can bring your essence to the forefront and use that as your “secret weapon.” In light of the challenge, show “Support,” “Caring,” “Success.” See how things turn around.

Be a Superhero.

Be a Super You!

Technorati Tags: Superhero, integrity, self, personal development, success, self awareness, being in the present, focus

I often live by strong, yet simple principles:
“Do Unto Others”
“Be Real”
“No Regrets”
“Just Do It”
And the list goes on. Okay, it’s not the “Ten Commandments” but they are principles and taglines that remind me not only of who I am, but how I want to live my life.

A few years ago I was awakened by three words that says it all:
Live, Laugh, Love (or “L-cubed”)

The first time I got this message, it was in an email. Actually several emails that came at me at the same time. The content of the emails were different, but in the end, it always had this same message (or a version of it):

“Work as if you have no money. Love as if you have never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And live everyday as if it were your last.”

And then soon after this initial email I received a couple of cards with just three words on the front:
“Live, Laugh, Love”

At first I didn’t think anything of it, but with the second card, I paid attention. Something clicked in my mind and reacted to the message in front of me. At that particular moment, I remembered thinking, “Am I living?” And when I honestly took a step back to look at my life, with my wheels spinning at 100 mph, I realized no, I was NOT living. Not the way I want to be living. I was becoming a member of the walking dead - a zombie.

Then, recalling the Michael Jackson “Thriller” video, I laughed at myself and it felt good. I thought to myself, “I need to do that more often.” Simply laugh. I told myself that I was going to exercise my “laugh muscle” because that takes practice too.

And “Love.” So many other emotions were consuming my heart that Love was getting pushed to the side and toward the back. Love for my work. Love for my family. Love for my friends. Love for the world. Love for myself. As John Lennon says, “All we need is Love.”
It’s so simple, it’s forgettable.

When I made these realizations, my mindset started to shift. I made those three words my motto for the following year and I woke up and walked off the wheel. I started to Live. I began to Laugh again. And I Loved, as often as I could.

Just as I needed that second message, we often need that second (or third) “slap in the face” to tell us and wake us up from the daily grind that we find ourselves in. To wake up and realize that there is more to life than “the grind” or the paycheck or “doing” and spinning our wheels.

Depending on the situation, I still use other mottos and sayings to keep me motivated and inspired, but what follows me internally and deeply with everything I do is to:

“Live, Laugh and Love”

I encourage you to find the motto that works for you. Something that enables you to get into a mindset where you feel joy and know that what you’re doing is right for you. A saying that conjures up the right energy and momentum for when you need it. Words that will help you live a life of passion and purpose.�

Technorati Tags: Live, Laugh, Love, Being in the Present, Living, Balance, Passion, Purpose