We have an e-cycling event coming up this month, where they collect unwanted electronic equipment. Last week I dug out some of my own boxes of old trinkets and I hit the motherload! I pulled out at least 4 old palm pilots, 2 cell phones, a Bluetooth and about 10 extra USB cords and adapters, not to mention a dozen accessories I no longer use. I could start my own little electronics store business!

It got me thinking, why do I have all of this stuff? Other than the obvious answer – I bought it! Or rather . . I’d been sold!

Through constant marketing campaigns and my fondness for new shiny things, I got sucked into the “next versions” and “newer models.” I realized it was my version of “Keeping up with the Jones’.” I was just “Jonesin’” for cool stuff or in today’s language, . . . I wanted to upgrade.

Made me really think about what I need vs what I want vs what is pure vanity.

In my personal Self Care practice, I’ve tried to reduce my clutter and pack-rat-ness. Now I’m slowly moving toward what is “natural” and moving away from technology for the sake of the shininess of it all. To be fair, since discovering the Palm Treo about a 1 1/2 years ago, I have not needed another palm OR cell phone (the Treo is both for me now). I like to think that I’ve reduced my carbon footprint by at least 50% but . . . don’t hold me it just yet (wink).

Granted, technology is a hobby for some and a lifestyle for others. But I challenge you to think about:

What “trinkets” in your life are serving you. . . and what doesn’t. And how does it benefit (or inhibit) your Self Care?

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!
At least for those of us who live in the United States and celebrate this holiday. Other than the freedoms and the patriotic feelings I get as a proud American, I also think of summer, sunshine, BBQ’s and VACATION!

Last year I wrote an article, “Get Lost - Vacationing with Intention“about the importance of intention and getting the most out of your vacation. I still consider this relevant and encourage you to check out that article to put you in the right mindset for your time off.

However, this month I’m going to focus on various vacation tips I want to share with you so you can prepare, plan and make your vacation as painless and pleasurable as possible.

In the coming weeks, you can learn about:
Tips to Finding a Pet Sitter
Tips to Save Money on Vacation
Tips to Inexpensive Activities

Come back throughout the month and visit to get the most recent Tips update.

Today, however, I’ll share how I prepare for my vacations. The first step for me is to create a checklist of: (1) what I need to do NOW, before I go, (2) what I want to do DURING the trip and (3) what needs to be taken care of while I’m away. This gives me an opportunity to organize my thoughts and even dream a little about my vacation.

(When I was planning for my New Zealand trip, it gave me a chance each evening to do a little online research about where I wanted to go and what I wanted to see. That was a fun process!)

TAKE ACTION TOOL!
Here are some steps to organize and prepare for your trip.
A. List out the To-Do’s that are on your mind and everything you need to plan your time.
B. Separate them into 4 categories:

(1) VACATION :
Things you want to do during your time away - sight-seeing, restaurants, tours, etc.
My recommendation is to keep the whole list, but prioritize the activities and make sure you plan your top #1 and #2 activities. In the long run, it will also help you on your vacation because you will have already decided what is important to you to do. Include your whole family on this exercise so you’re all on the same page.

(2) PACKING:
Everything that you ABSOLUTELY need on the trip.
Remember, most places that you’re traveling to will have things like shampoo and conditioner, which can add weight to your luggage (which you might have to pay for now!). My recommendation is to pack light, leaving extra room for things that you want to bring home, like souvenirs!

(3) HOME:
Things that need to be taken care of BEFORE you leave, like holding the mail, stopping the newspaper delivery, putting the sprinkler on a timer, etc.
The checklist is handy to keep for when you RETURN and want to resume service.

(4) WORK:
Things that need to be handled BEFORE you leave as well as preparing for project maintanence while you’re gone.
Most people prepare their work fairly well before a trip, but oftentimes will check voicemail or email while on vacation. As an added challenge, prepare as if you will be out of communication with the office for your entire trip. You might be amazed at how well you can prepare for your own absence. . . AND it will also give you a totally work free vacation - isn’t that what a vacation is about anyway?!?!

Organizing and listing thing out helps to plan and prepare so you can fully enjoy your time off. Also, it can help to keep you positive with a little vacation dream in sight each day.

Check back for more TIPS in the coming weeks.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: independence day, travel, vacation, tips, saving money

Who do you think are the happiest people in the world?

Would you believe the Danish?

On a recent flight to California, I watched the CBS Eye on AAmerica video that was airing on the plane. The “60 Minutes” piece they showed was about Happiness, so of course my ears perked up immediately. . .

Adrian White, an analytic social psychologist at the University of Leicester developed the first “World Map of Happiness” and ranked Denmark as the happiest nation in the world. This has prompted other academics to do some research of their own to answer the question of WHY.

Ultimately happiness manifests in our lives through purpose and pleasure.

Two main points in the WHY research that I would like to share here:

Have Moderate Expectations - Be Realistic :
The Danish have moderate expectations, so the pressure is off. When something does turn out spectacular, then they are very grateful for it. Compare that with our standard American view where everything needs to be great or outstanding. With those kinds of demands, not only is it unrealistic at times, it’s also very difficult to achieve. When expectations are too high (or unrealistic) and they are not met, people feel a sense of failure which leads to low self esteem, a feeling of discontentment, stress and overall unhappiness.
You can have moderate expectations and still excel greatly in what you do.

Ask yourself: What are your expectations of yourself? Are they realistic?
A suggestion is to start thinking about having HIGH STANDARDS vs. EXPECTATIONS. With Expectations there is a sense of anticipation or looking for something that might happen. With High Standards it is a model or example by which you live and achieve.
A second suggestion, Be Grateful - Honor the Blessings in Your Life.

Do Less - Stay Present:
Americans tend to try to fit in too much. Do Less. Tal Ben-Shahar noted in a study comparing American and European women, it was shown that American women do not particularly enjoy spending time with their children. It wasn’t because they loved their children any less, in fact often children was one of the most important things in their lives. When the researchers dug deeper, they realized that when the women were with their children, they were not really WITH their children - they were not present. Instead they were thinking about what they needed to do next, on email or on the phone. In essence their mind was somewhere else and they were not able to fully enjoy the time spent with their children.

Ask youself: Do you do so much that you do not enjoy the important things in your life?
A suggestion is to simplify your life, do less, choose the important things in your life and be absolutely present with those things.

We certainly can learn something from the Danish and why they are the happiest country in the world, but I believe:

Everyone defines happiness based on what is important and meaningful to them, so achieving happiness in your life is simply a matter of choice.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan?

Technorati Tags: happiness, Tal Ben-Shahar, Adrian White, expectations, stay present

In Kaikoura we swam with the dolphins! Not in a tank or a huge pool – we swam with the dolphins on THEIR terms, in THEIR natural setting – the Pacific Ocean.

The staff donned us with our wetsuits and snorkel gear, drove us out into the middle of the ocean where we found a pod of about 100 dusky dolphins. We jumped off into the middle of the swimming pod and did our best to grab their attention, with the staff’s recommendations – making funny noises, diving (as dolphins would), swimming and trying to catch their eye. At first I was skeptical that their suggested methods would work – how could WE get THEIR attention and entertain THEM? Then we caught the attention of our first dolphin and my husband flipped, spun and held their eye contact. . . it worked! They spun right along side of him!
I thought, “This is amazing! We’re actually communicating with them by speaking THEIR language!” And it made sense. We’re in their environment, so it only makes sense that we adapt our communication style to how they would understand us. Once we did, the interaction was a lot easier and mutually entertaining and fun.

TAKE ACTION! TIP:
When you find yourself in a new setting, a new environment or amidst strangers, feel more comfortable by learning to speak THEIR language. Do this by asking them questions and listening. Everyone has their own personal “language.” Once you open up to that language and start relating, in no time you’ll find that you’re interacting more easily and building a solid relationship.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: communication, meeting new people, perspectives, dolphins, communication lessons, interaction, adapting, relating

How do you find balance amidst all of your responsibilities and duties?
How do you lead effectively without overwhelm?

The answer not only has to do with self care and balance, but in a large part has to do with leadership - a positive style of leadership.

The first step is to learn how to recognize your personal threshold and say “No.”

Think of “Jody.” She owns her own successful business. She is a member of three different business networking organizations, where she is highly involved. She also believes in community, so voluteers her time on a number of different boards and serves as President for a non-profit organization. She wants to do it all, because it is ALL important. She is often late to board meetings, leaves early and tends to check her blackberry during meetings. She has so much going on, sometimes it’s hard to keep track of details. The other board members find her behavior rude, notice that there is little progress on action items and questions her commitment.

Does this scenario sound familiar?

Everyone has a different threshold, but notice when you feel overwhelmed or you are not as effective. Listen to feedback. This is the time to prioritize and start saying “No” and commit to what is most important.

Spreading yourself too thin is a sure way to overwhelm yourself while diluting your ability to lead and build loyalty.

Once you’ve said “No” the next steps are the VIP of Positive Leadership: Vision, Influence and Prototype.

Create a Clear VISION:
The Vision focuses you, as the leader, focuses the team and makes your life easier.

Creating a clear vision enables the leader to stay focused, take ownership of what needs to be done and makes leading easier. It also serves to inspire and energize your team to stay “on purpose” by keeping them organized and on target.

INFLUENCE through Encouragement and Support:
Give more than you expect to get from your team. Listen to what they have to offer. Encourage and support each member as individuals.

A sense of loyalty naturally comes forth when a team is encouraged by their leader, their ideas and feedback are heard and they are supported with sincerity. By being an encouraging and supportive leader, you are able to leverage your time and energy on what is important because your team is “effected” and inspired to move forward.

Be a PROTOTYPE :
When you build a strong foundation upon which to emulate, it empowers your team, who then becomes energized to created the next “model” of success.

When you lead by example, people respect you. When your successors improve upon your foundation, this is the ultimate compliment. Being a prototype means you don’t have to know it all - you can learn and grow through the process with your team. Doesn’t that make life easier - to know that you do not have to know it all? What a relief!

Leadership and self care are intertwined in many ways.
Being a great leader empowers your team.
It also enables you to lead a lot easier with less stress and more confidence.

Wishing you a Life with Joy and Ease,
Susan

Technorati Tags: leadership, vision, influence, prototype, role model, stress, confidence, self care

You already know my feelings about resolutions. . .
Fuhgedaboudit!
At least “fuhgedaboud” the “old” resolutions that do not pertain to your life RIGHT NOW. And “fuhgedaboud” those goals that weigh you down, year after year (see SOAR).
Instead, create intention and purpose around what you want.

Five years ago I worked with my coach to create a “Living Theme.” A theme is a motto or mantra that supports you every single day. It is an intentional focus that empowers you throughout the year. Every day, when you wake up, your theme inspires and motivates you to move forward.

It is about setting an intention based on what you want the year to be about. As an example, here are some themes I created:

• “Be Great” – The year I created this theme, I moved to Maui, bought a house, started my coaching practice and established myself as a professional speaker/trainer. Each step of the way I was thinking of “being GREAT!”

• “Get Involved” – My “Get Involved” year was amazing! I started working with (and getting involved with) community organizations I care about, like the Maui Humane Society and American Cancer Society. I also got more involved professionally by volunteering my time to work with entrepreneurs as a business counselor/coach for the Small Business Administration offices of SCORE and SBDC.

A theme empowers and inspires through purpose and intention all year long!
To start creating YOUR Theme, brainstorm with the following ideas:

1. Think of what you want right now. Brainstorm words and phrases that are relevant and touches you personally.
2. Challenge yourself (refer to SOARing, December blog) – Think of how you want to stretch yourself in the coming year.
3. Think of 3 quotes that speak to you and what you’re about today.

As you brainstorm, your theme might pop out at you or you might have to find a common connection among your ideas. Either way, this will get you started.

Have a wonderfully, intentional Year!

Technorati Tags: intention, theme, resolutions, goals, stay inspired, motivation, challenge, success, purpose, inspiration.

(one Tuesday at 10am Hawaii / 12noon Pacific)

“Get Ready For Life” is my brand of time management or “priority” management.

Managing time is one of the keys to achieving harmony and happiness in our lives. However, getting a handle on the fast moving and intangible notion of time can be “slippery.”

Oftentimes “having more time” also makes “balanced” sense - being able to spend more time with family, having an abundance of time to accomplish business goals, or just having the luxury of taking time out for your Self.

“Get Ready For Life” focuses on what is most important to you - what you value - and prioritizing activities based on these important elements of your life.

It’s not about creating more time, it’s about creating space in your life for what matters.

To be on the call, visit Compass Life Designs and join their free community.
In addition to this call, you will gain access to a “lifestyle community for women.”

Technorati Tags: Compass Life Designs, lifestyle, women, community, time management, prioritizing, life coaching,   balance, work/life

How do we open our hearts to appreciate the LOVE of the season without being overwhelmed and stressed by it at the same time?

This is a good question to think about regardless of the time of year. With clear purpose and intentions we can open our hearts and our lives to LOVE without being affected by some of the potential stressors of everyday.

Start by discovering what is most important to you. Once you identify that, it will help keep you focused for what you want in life. Holidays are often filled with activities that drain – think of the reason behind the activity and determine if it is important for your life.
ASK YOURSELF:
What are the things that drain you? Why are you doing it?
Sometimes it could be cultural, traditional or simply out of feeling obligation, but usually there is a reason why you are doing it. Reconnect with that purpose and consider what is important for you in your life right now.

Next, budget your time and money. Planning a little will help prevent overwhelm around these two areas. AND it will enable you to stay more focused on what is important instead of worrying or running around spinning your wheels.
TAKE ACTION:
Budgeting Time – When considering your schedule with family events, volunteer request, holiday parties, travel, business obligations, make your decisions based on the purpose and intention behind the event. Ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Why is this important?
Budgeting Money – Create a budget. It’s that simple. It will help keep your spending focused. Budget for regular expenses, donations, gifts, travel, entertainment, personal and miscellaneous. As you create your budget, think about what is absolutely important to you – again find the purpose and intention behind the spending. If you get caught in the midst of an “impulse” buy (which is easy to do during the holiday sales!) review your budget and consider what you could take off your list in exchange for this “impulsive” purchase. If it is important enough, the replacement will be easy; if it’s difficult, reconsider.

Finally, by taking care of your body, you also take care of your heart, mind and soul. How you feel physically will certainly affect your mindset and vice versa. Taking care of your body through WAG (see below), will enable you to love and fully appreciate because you won’t feel sluggish or sleepy. In fact, you’ll feel energized and happy with your body.
TAKE ACTION:
1. Drink Water
Water is so important to our diets. During the holidays amidst the glasses of eggnog, sodas and wine, water is forgotten. Not only will water re-hydrate and keep the bodily functions moving along, it also helps to fill the body with a non-caloric way to quench your thirst, helping to maintain a healthy diet (see Grazing).
2. Stay Active
Activity is easy to come by during the holidays, but often it’s the likes of going to parties, having drinks, going shopping, etc – not quite the exercise regimen of a healthy lifestyle. You may not have time for the gym, but you can still stay active and keep healthy. For example, park at the opposite end of the mall and walk briskly to your destination – that can be a good 10-20 minute event, depending on the mall. If you can do a full workout, GREAT! But if not, take the stairs, walk, incorporate activity where you can.
3. Graze
Grazing is pretty common during the holidays – food is omnipresent. It is the quantity and what we eat that throws us off balance (and maybe even gaining a pound or two). When grazing, it’s about reducing the size of each meal, not just eating more frequently, so cut your normal portion into half or thirds. Also, when choosing the foods to eat, start by eating a protein, second eat a vegetable, third drink water and finally allow yourself to indulge with a “goodie” if you like. By the time you eat the sugary goodness, at least you will have had some nutritious food AND you will be partially satiated.

The above are my strategies and suggestions. – if they sound good, try them. I encourage you to develop some healthy strategies for yourself.

Technorati Tags: holiday, budget, spending money, time management, activity, self care, season, love, being present

Everyone knows breathing is essential for life - we do it without any thought. However, breath is not only important to the physical functioning of our bodies, but it is also vital to our emotional and spiritual well being. During times of tension or anxiety, oftentimes people will hold their breath (think about watching a suspenseful part of a movie or when you have to give a BIG presentation.) Remember the sigh that usual comes after such moments? We feel relieved, our heart starts to slow down and there is a sense of peace and relaxation.

Why not harness this power of relaxation at will?

During times of stress or when you need to take a moment to relax, help yourself by “taking a breather,” literally! Consciously make a decision to BREATHE and utilize your body’s natural ability to relieve stress - it is free, fast, you can do it anywhere, AND breathing will clear your mind so you can accomplish more!

There are three main parts to breathing - inhaling, exhaling and the “rest” that comes in between them. Inhaling enables the body to get the supply of oxygen it needs for survival. Oxygen is required for proper functioning of all parts of the human body, however, the organ that needs the most is the brain. If the brain does not get ample oxygen, it results in depression, mental sluggishness, irritation and even negative thoughts. Exhaling gets rid of the waste from the body. Without properly flushing out these toxins, the body may experience a build up, which in turn results in disease or mental stress.

In times of stress, not only will “proper breathing” help, but breathing exercises will also help to calm, soothe and relax the body will physically nourish the body while relieving the mind.

Below are some simple, yet effective breathing exercises. When practiced on a regular basis, you will feel Create Better Balance, Accomplish More and Live Easier.

#1. SQUARE BREATHING
Square breathing is an exercise that helps you to slow down and focus on your breathing so you can develop a clearer mind and feel more relaxed.
Take Action! steps to SQUARE BREATHING
1. Sit down comfortably.
2. Inhale to a count of 4.
3. Hold for a count of 4.
4. Exhale to a count f 4.
5. Hold for a count of 4.
6. Repeat from Step #2.

#2. BIKRAM YOGA EXHALE BREATHING (Kapalbhati)
I practice Bikram Yoga and the very last “posture” is a breathing exercise, Kapalbhati, where you exhale forcefully using your abdominal muscles.
Take Action! steps to better EXHALE BREATHING
1. Kneel down, sitting on your heels.
2. Sit up straight with your hands on your knees.
3. Blow out forcefully through your mouth, creating a “shoooo” sound.
4. As you exhale, pull in your stomach, using your abdominal muscles.
5. Relax the stomach and inhale.
6. Repeat steps 3-5 for one minute.

#3. ONE MINUTE BREATHING
This exercise will relax you throughout your day. It literally takes just one minute and will leave you feeling relaxed.
Take Action! steps ONE MINUTE BREATHING
1. Sit comfortably.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Start at 50 and count down, slowly.
4. Make sure to breathe easily.
5. Focus on the numbers as you count down.
6. When you get to zero, take a few breaths.
7. Open your eyes and feel revived!

When you’re feeling stress or tension, learn how to harness the power of relaxation through breathing. Sometimes the best form of self care is to just BREATHE.

Make Happiness Yours!
Susan

Technorati Tags: self care, breathe, relaxation, calm, inhaling, exhaling, well being, stress, health, revitalize, focus, energy

They say that “No man is an island,” and I would have to agree. Whether in business or in your personal life, relationships matter and have a large impact on your well being. As people, we were made to relate and be companions to each other, so when your relationships are confused and unhappy, our lives feel the same.

Relationships influence our body, mind and spirit. Do you notice that after a difficult phase in life your body feels tired, drained? Have you been caught in a moment of pure love for someone and felt the rush of energy? Is it hard to concentrate and focus when there is “drama” in your relationships - good or bad? Then you know what I mean.

Although relating is natural for us, sometimes our relationships are not quite where we want them to be or perhaps they are even hurting us. The best way to enhance your relationships is to improve your Self. Think about it, the common factor in all of your relationships is YOU!

Just like we have to exercise our muscles to be fit, we also have to “work out” our relationships to be healthy and strong.

Below are three Take Action! tips on how to “exercise” your relationships to strengthen and tone up.

#1. RELATIONSHIP SYSTEM
A relationship is a system that combines two individual systems - “You” and “Me” (the other person in the relationship), where each individual affects the outcome of the relationship. Given this model, think about how you are affecting the system. Each adjustment of your actions will somehow change the overall system.
Take Action! - Try it out. . .change your behavior just a little by tweaking something in your relationship. Start with something small. A good exercise to begin is to make a list of three columns:
Column #1: List the challenges/difficulties in your relationship.
Column #2: Write out the usual reaction/response when this situation occurs.
Column #3: Write out how you’re going to “tweak” it - give yourself some options to look at and then decide on one.

#2. RELATIONSHIPS START WITH YOU
The key to the “Relationship System” is that each individual is a separate whole person and is in integrity within themselves, not relying on or being dependent on the other. The relationship winds up being a natural and organic result of two people coming together to enhance the world of the other. Therefore, a healthy relationship starts with a healthy “You,” mentally, physically and spiritually.
Take Action! - Think about how you are contributing to the challenge you listed in #1. Also ask yourself honestly and with integrity, “What will it take for me to be complete?” Start taking care of your Self, giving to your Self and allowing your Self to LIVE. Not only will YOU feel great, but your relationships will improve in parallel!

#3. BOUNDARIES, NOT A MOAT
Relationships are about connecting with people, but boundaries enable us to protect ourselves from the potentially damaging affects of the world around us by discerning negative influences that surround us. Boundaries protect the individual from harm from the outside by letting the right people and behavior in, it does not serve to keep people out like a moat.
Take Action! - Top Three Steps to Building Boundaries:
1. Start Right Away -the sooner you start creating boundaries, the easier it becomes.
2. Be Clear - the better you can articulate your boundaries, the easier it is for others to understand and honor them.
3. Create Fair Boundaries - test your boundaries by asking if you would accept the boundary for someone else. If it is difficult to do, then ask yourself if it’s a fair boundary and adjust.

Technorati Tags: balance, relationships, boundaries, self care, personal development, action, accountability, couples