Our family pet cockatiel, Phineas, passed away a couple of weeks ago. It was sad and unexpected, yet I find comfort in knowing that he is soaring with the big birds in the sky now.

During the last two weeks however, I found that I kept hearing about death. First it was my bird, then I heard (and watched) the horrific news coming from Iran about the death of Neda Agha-Soltan. A few days later I heard about Michael Jackson’s and then Farah Fawcett’s passing. I felt sad and grief stricken with all the news. What was going on here?!?

Then I started to feel nostalgic and thought of “life.”

Phineas was our first “baby” in Hawaii. We adopted him the second week we moved into our home. Not only do we have fond memories of him, but he brought a lot of love and laughter into our lives for which we are, and will always be, grateful. The way he would dance about in and on his cage. The way he would sing with the chorus of birds outside. The way he would hiss to show his displeasure. The way he would spread his wings as a mighty hood ornament. The way he would snuggle up to my husband’s scruff. The way he would lovingly preen my hair as he sat on my shoulder. Remembering him and being grateful for him took away the grief and brought back the joy we feel from his life.

“The highest tribute to the dead is not grief, but gratitude.” Thornton Wilder

Gratitude fills my heart for the others as well. To Neda Agha-Soltan for inadvertently sparking much needed attention to the atrocities in Iran. To Michael Jackson for the music, the dance, and all of the teen memories that go along with them. To Farah Fawcett for her bravery in the face of cancer, the entertainment and the hairstyle (which still works even today!)

Everyone deals with grief differently. I encourage you to try gratitude. I’ve learned that it helps to heal.

With Grateful Memories of Life,
Susan