Anger is a good thing.
Or rather, it is an emotion that can have positive benefits that too often (and perhaps too readily) are looked upon negatively. Anger can be unnerving and uncomfortable, but totally getting rid of anger would mean that you won’t have that certain mechanism to help self-preservation, establishing healthy boundaries, determining wants and needs, and just not getting hurt overall.

Anger can protect us from that which may be harmful.

The “problem” or issue of anger comes into play when people react with anger inappropriately or for manipulative and self-serving reasons; when anger becomes abusive. Oftentimes when we react “in anger” the result is a shift from anger to a feeling of guilt, resentment, embarrassment or even more anger. Then THESE emotions can feed on themselves and exacerbate the problem. Other times you might derive a sense of relief and release from the stress.

Either way, understanding your emotions and being able to process and control them is a part of Self Care. It follows that when we take care of ourselves, we are mentally and emotionally better able to address various challenges throughout our day. However, on the flip side, understanding our own patterns of emotions, especially anger, allows us to practice Self Care more fully as well.

The key is to understand where the anger is coming from, identify it and then learn how to appropriately express (or not express) that anger.

What are some ways you “manage” your anger?

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Last month PARADE (the Sunday paper insert) featured an article, “The Truth About American Marriage” by Leslie Bennett. Initially,  I thought, “uh-oh!” In the media we often hear about break-ups, affairs, divorce, and other unsettling stories of betrayal in all kinds of relationships across our country.

Whenever I hear about more negativity in relationships, I wonder, “What is going on?”
I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, . . . well, today. . .
I say that with tongue in cheek. but more so because that’s the way relationships work - there are ups and downs; some days he’s Mr. Wonderful, other days he’s “the last straw” but EVERY day I love him and we are both committed to each other, no matter what track of the rollercoaster we happen to have fallen that day.

This is just as true in a friendship just as it is true in any intimate relationship.

So, as I sat to read, I braced myself for some more negative news. . . but then, I was pleasantly surprised! Read the rest of this entry »