HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!
At least for those of us who live in the United States and celebrate this holiday. Other than the freedoms and the patriotic feelings I get as a proud American, I also think of summer, sunshine, BBQ’s and VACATION!

Last year I wrote an article, “Get Lost - Vacationing with Intention“about the importance of intention and getting the most out of your vacation. I still consider this relevant and encourage you to check out that article to put you in the right mindset for your time off.

However, this month I’m going to focus on various vacation tips I want to share with you so you can prepare, plan and make your vacation as painless and pleasurable as possible.

In the coming weeks, you can learn about:
Tips to Finding a Pet Sitter
Tips to Save Money on Vacation
Tips to Inexpensive Activities

Come back throughout the month and visit to get the most recent Tips update.

Today, however, I’ll share how I prepare for my vacations. The first step for me is to create a checklist of: (1) what I need to do NOW, before I go, (2) what I want to do DURING the trip and (3) what needs to be taken care of while I’m away. This gives me an opportunity to organize my thoughts and even dream a little about my vacation.

(When I was planning for my New Zealand trip, it gave me a chance each evening to do a little online research about where I wanted to go and what I wanted to see. That was a fun process!)

TAKE ACTION TOOL!
Here are some steps to organize and prepare for your trip.
A. List out the To-Do’s that are on your mind and everything you need to plan your time.
B. Separate them into 4 categories:

(1) VACATION :
Things you want to do during your time away - sight-seeing, restaurants, tours, etc.
My recommendation is to keep the whole list, but prioritize the activities and make sure you plan your top #1 and #2 activities. In the long run, it will also help you on your vacation because you will have already decided what is important to you to do. Include your whole family on this exercise so you’re all on the same page.

(2) PACKING:
Everything that you ABSOLUTELY need on the trip.
Remember, most places that you’re traveling to will have things like shampoo and conditioner, which can add weight to your luggage (which you might have to pay for now!). My recommendation is to pack light, leaving extra room for things that you want to bring home, like souvenirs!

(3) HOME:
Things that need to be taken care of BEFORE you leave, like holding the mail, stopping the newspaper delivery, putting the sprinkler on a timer, etc.
The checklist is handy to keep for when you RETURN and want to resume service.

(4) WORK:
Things that need to be handled BEFORE you leave as well as preparing for project maintanence while you’re gone.
Most people prepare their work fairly well before a trip, but oftentimes will check voicemail or email while on vacation. As an added challenge, prepare as if you will be out of communication with the office for your entire trip. You might be amazed at how well you can prepare for your own absence. . . AND it will also give you a totally work free vacation - isn’t that what a vacation is about anyway?!?!

Organizing and listing thing out helps to plan and prepare so you can fully enjoy your time off. Also, it can help to keep you positive with a little vacation dream in sight each day.

Check back for more TIPS in the coming weeks.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: independence day, travel, vacation, tips, saving money

Who do you think are the happiest people in the world?

Would you believe the Danish?

On a recent flight to California, I watched the CBS Eye on AAmerica video that was airing on the plane. The “60 Minutes” piece they showed was about Happiness, so of course my ears perked up immediately. . .

Adrian White, an analytic social psychologist at the University of Leicester developed the first “World Map of Happiness” and ranked Denmark as the happiest nation in the world. This has prompted other academics to do some research of their own to answer the question of WHY.

Ultimately happiness manifests in our lives through purpose and pleasure.

Two main points in the WHY research that I would like to share here:

Have Moderate Expectations - Be Realistic :
The Danish have moderate expectations, so the pressure is off. When something does turn out spectacular, then they are very grateful for it. Compare that with our standard American view where everything needs to be great or outstanding. With those kinds of demands, not only is it unrealistic at times, it’s also very difficult to achieve. When expectations are too high (or unrealistic) and they are not met, people feel a sense of failure which leads to low self esteem, a feeling of discontentment, stress and overall unhappiness.
You can have moderate expectations and still excel greatly in what you do.

Ask yourself: What are your expectations of yourself? Are they realistic?
A suggestion is to start thinking about having HIGH STANDARDS vs. EXPECTATIONS. With Expectations there is a sense of anticipation or looking for something that might happen. With High Standards it is a model or example by which you live and achieve.
A second suggestion, Be Grateful - Honor the Blessings in Your Life.

Do Less - Stay Present:
Americans tend to try to fit in too much. Do Less. Tal Ben-Shahar noted in a study comparing American and European women, it was shown that American women do not particularly enjoy spending time with their children. It wasn’t because they loved their children any less, in fact often children was one of the most important things in their lives. When the researchers dug deeper, they realized that when the women were with their children, they were not really WITH their children - they were not present. Instead they were thinking about what they needed to do next, on email or on the phone. In essence their mind was somewhere else and they were not able to fully enjoy the time spent with their children.

Ask youself: Do you do so much that you do not enjoy the important things in your life?
A suggestion is to simplify your life, do less, choose the important things in your life and be absolutely present with those things.

We certainly can learn something from the Danish and why they are the happiest country in the world, but I believe:

Everyone defines happiness based on what is important and meaningful to them, so achieving happiness in your life is simply a matter of choice.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan?

Technorati Tags: happiness, Tal Ben-Shahar, Adrian White, expectations, stay present

Penguins are cool!
In Oamaru, New Zealand, I saw the blue penguin.

Each night, the blue penguins swim to shore and live in burrows in the ground. These are the smallest penguins on earth at 9.8 inches (25cm) tall and weighing approximately 2.5 lbs. (a little over 1 kg). They have beautiful slate-blue plumage with a bright white belly.

Although these animals are such small creatures, they have a presence larger than life. They usually arrive on the beach in groups. They wait until the whole group is on land, then they proceed up the hill to their underground dwellings further inland where they start to quack and get social.

It is incredible to me that these tiny creatures are able to survive long journeys in the ocean with predators swimming literally amongst them. At sea, their lives are threatened by sharks, sea lions and leopard seals, not to mention the natural challenges of the ocean.

I feel like they survive for three key reasons: camouflage, community and consistency. They are camouflaged from both above and below having white bellies and blue backs so they are hidden from their predators. Their sense of community is very strong, they stick together as a group in the water and on land. For the most part they have life long partners; there is only a 6% “divorce” rate each year. Finally they have a consistent routine - each night they follow the same path and come ashore to the same underground burrows they call home.

TAKE ACTION! TIP:
We can certainly learn some survival and self care techniques from these penguins. Build appropriate “camouflage” (or boundaries) from “predators” or those that can harm us. Have a support system (whether one person or multiple people) that you can rely upon to prevent (and during) times of stress. Develop consistency in your life – consistency does not mean structure, it means a sense of reliability and authenticity.

Hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend!
See you next week!

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan
email: info@susankimcoaching.com

Technorati Tags: boundaries, support, consistency, self care, survival, blue penguins, New Zealand

Have you ever seen a real live glacier?
It’s an incredibly awe inspiring experience. To think that this is water flow from the Ice Age, is absolutely amazing! Seeing the glacier from the outside is beautiful - it looks like a river, frozen in time. But then when you travel further inside, you find cracks and crevices that are filled with stories and experience that reveal even more about the glacier’s “personality.” What a wealth of history trapped in the ice. If only the glacier could talk! What did it experience yesterday that effects how it is today?

Much like the glacier, oftentimes there is rich beauty, history and experience within people that we do not readily see. These stories are hidden behind a protective shell or perhaps takes time to be uncovered. When we make the effort to understand people’s history, their perspective, then WE grow, WE learn, WE are enriched. Doing so also strengthens bonds through better understanding and develops a relationship to a deeper level.

I can’t help but think about the benefits in business when we understand the story of our clients, our vendors, our colleagues. The knowledge not only brings a new insight in order to provide improved service, but it also naturally creates a deeper level of trust.

Relationships built on trust and understanding – whether in business or in personal life – certainly makes life easier. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

TAKE ACTION! TIP:
Just like the glacier, there is an abundance of beauty under the surface of each person we encounter. Take time to discover and understand the hidden stories behind the people in your life.
I would love to hear your stories about this.
Comment on this blog or write to me at info@susankimcoaching.com about support, encouragement and inspiration in YOUR life.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: perspectives, understanding, relationships, trust, glacier, hidden stories, history

In Kaikoura we swam with the dolphins! Not in a tank or a huge pool – we swam with the dolphins on THEIR terms, in THEIR natural setting – the Pacific Ocean.

The staff donned us with our wetsuits and snorkel gear, drove us out into the middle of the ocean where we found a pod of about 100 dusky dolphins. We jumped off into the middle of the swimming pod and did our best to grab their attention, with the staff’s recommendations – making funny noises, diving (as dolphins would), swimming and trying to catch their eye. At first I was skeptical that their suggested methods would work – how could WE get THEIR attention and entertain THEM? Then we caught the attention of our first dolphin and my husband flipped, spun and held their eye contact. . . it worked! They spun right along side of him!
I thought, “This is amazing! We’re actually communicating with them by speaking THEIR language!” And it made sense. We’re in their environment, so it only makes sense that we adapt our communication style to how they would understand us. Once we did, the interaction was a lot easier and mutually entertaining and fun.

TAKE ACTION! TIP:
When you find yourself in a new setting, a new environment or amidst strangers, feel more comfortable by learning to speak THEIR language. Do this by asking them questions and listening. Everyone has their own personal “language.” Once you open up to that language and start relating, in no time you’ll find that you’re interacting more easily and building a solid relationship.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: communication, meeting new people, perspectives, dolphins, communication lessons, interaction, adapting, relating

There is nothing like taking a two week trip – without email, cell phone, laptop. Can you say. . . “AH!”

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my laptop and the convenience of all of my electronic tchotchkes, but I realized that time doesn’t stop without them. . . REALLY! And in fact, time did not have a problem moving quickly without them either - time flew!

Fittingly, I spent the technology deficient weeks in gorgeous New Zealand where the rolling green hills, the beautiful glaciers and the grazing sheep represent a pure land without the amenities of modernization. If you want a flavor of New Zealand, check out the movie, Lord of the Rings. Much of the movie was filmed in director’s Peter Jackson’s homeland of New Zealand and they did not even need cgi to enhance it.

My husband and I rented a camper van and got back into nature and how inspiring it is! Believe it or not it was not only personally and emotionally inspiring, but it was also professionally inspiring, giving me great energy and motivation for business. Just imagine the clarity of thought swimming with dolphins, walking in glacier country and seeing the nocturnal migration of penguins. Naturally awe inspiring.

Imagine being dropped into the middle of 100 dolphins swimming. . . and trying to entertain THEM to get their attention! Inspired me to build better practices of communication. . . read how next week!

Next week – “Swimming with Dolphins”
Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Technorati Tags: inspiration, travel, New Zealand, energy, self care, motivation, communication, clarity

How do you find balance amidst all of your responsibilities and duties?
How do you lead effectively without overwhelm?

The answer not only has to do with self care and balance, but in a large part has to do with leadership - a positive style of leadership.

The first step is to learn how to recognize your personal threshold and say “No.”

Think of “Jody.” She owns her own successful business. She is a member of three different business networking organizations, where she is highly involved. She also believes in community, so voluteers her time on a number of different boards and serves as President for a non-profit organization. She wants to do it all, because it is ALL important. She is often late to board meetings, leaves early and tends to check her blackberry during meetings. She has so much going on, sometimes it’s hard to keep track of details. The other board members find her behavior rude, notice that there is little progress on action items and questions her commitment.

Does this scenario sound familiar?

Everyone has a different threshold, but notice when you feel overwhelmed or you are not as effective. Listen to feedback. This is the time to prioritize and start saying “No” and commit to what is most important.

Spreading yourself too thin is a sure way to overwhelm yourself while diluting your ability to lead and build loyalty.

Once you’ve said “No” the next steps are the VIP of Positive Leadership: Vision, Influence and Prototype.

Create a Clear VISION:
The Vision focuses you, as the leader, focuses the team and makes your life easier.

Creating a clear vision enables the leader to stay focused, take ownership of what needs to be done and makes leading easier. It also serves to inspire and energize your team to stay “on purpose” by keeping them organized and on target.

INFLUENCE through Encouragement and Support:
Give more than you expect to get from your team. Listen to what they have to offer. Encourage and support each member as individuals.

A sense of loyalty naturally comes forth when a team is encouraged by their leader, their ideas and feedback are heard and they are supported with sincerity. By being an encouraging and supportive leader, you are able to leverage your time and energy on what is important because your team is “effected” and inspired to move forward.

Be a PROTOTYPE :
When you build a strong foundation upon which to emulate, it empowers your team, who then becomes energized to created the next “model” of success.

When you lead by example, people respect you. When your successors improve upon your foundation, this is the ultimate compliment. Being a prototype means you don’t have to know it all - you can learn and grow through the process with your team. Doesn’t that make life easier - to know that you do not have to know it all? What a relief!

Leadership and self care are intertwined in many ways.
Being a great leader empowers your team.
It also enables you to lead a lot easier with less stress and more confidence.

Wishing you a Life with Joy and Ease,
Susan

Technorati Tags: leadership, vision, influence, prototype, role model, stress, confidence, self care

Sometimes the internet can be OVERWHELMING!

Online searches can often bring up hundreds of links to websites for almost anything (and I mean anything). Google is a terrific resource for searching the web, but you can get lost there too. Have you ever started a web search and 3 hours later realized that you’ve clicked yourself away from your original search? It can be fun, but certainly time consuming and confusing!

Here are some websites that will help you navigate the web, as well as some sites that I find interesting and noteworthy. Some have inspired me, while others have just made me laugh.

SEARCH ENGINES:
www.google.com - this is my favorite, more out of habit and ease. Every once and while, click on “I’m feeling lucky.” Doing this will direct you to what Google thinks is the site you’re looking for, based on your search parameters.

www.dogpile.com - this is a compilation of multiple search engines, combining the search results from Google, Yahoo!, LiveSearch, Ask and others.

www.goodsearch.com - this search engine donates 50% of its revenue to the charities and schools designated by the user, YOU! It’s cool, check it out.

INSPIRING SITES:
www.teamhoyt.com - this website is for Team Hoyt. The story about Dick and Rick Hoyt is absolutely amazing. Dick has pushed his disabled son, Rick in over 85 marathons and has completed multiple ironmans with Rick. It’s an amazing story of love and commitment. Read the story and watch the video: http://cjcphoto.com/can/

www.lifeischange.com - this is the official site of inspirational comedian, Judson Laipply. His “The Evolution of Dance” video is a classic and has made the email rounds quite a number of times. If it doesn’t inspire you to dance, it will at least bring a smile to your face.

FUN SITES:
Here are some sites that are just for fun and when you have a spare moment or just need a little get away. I am convinced these help with hand-eye coordination.

Penguins - with the click of your mouse, Big Foot swings the bat and the penguin flies! See how far you can get the penguin to go.

ESCAPA! - another fun game of movement and creativity and memory! The longer you keep at it, the better you get.

www.funnyordie.com - this site was developed by Gary Sanchez Productions, which is made up of Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, and Chris Henchy. If you like comedy, this is definitely a site worth checking out to exercise your laugh muscles.

www.eepybird.com - you’ve probably seen the Mento’s and Diet Coke fountain videos. Here are more fun videos of people with amazing skills and interesting ideas. Watch out, some can be quite silly.

USEFUL SITES:
www.timeanddate.com - with daylight savings time on March 9th (in the USA), it’s nice to have a resource that will give you the exact time, no matter where you are in the world.

www.about.com - provides information for just about anything you’re curious or concerned about. Experts contribute articles to share their wealth of knowledge.

FOR MORE SITES TO CHECK OUT, VISIT MY WEBSITE’S BLOGROLL.

Wishing you Happiness, Inspiration and Laughter,
Susan

Technorati Tags: resources, websites, inspiration, laughter, games, fun, goodsearch, google, expert, information

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Love is in the air. . . and I’m not referring to the heart shaped candy boxes or the long stem roses that we often see around this time of the year. The “love” I am thinking of is toward our neighbor, our friend, our family and our fellow human being.

This year is the 10th Anniversary of V-Day (www.vday.org), a global movement to end violence against women and girls that raises funds and awareness through benefit productions of Playwright/Founder Even Ensler’s award winning play “The ‘V’ Monologues.”

Two years ago I had the honor of being a cast member of the V-Day production on Maui, Hawaii. The experience opened my eyes not only to the terrible abuse toward women and girls that already exists in our world, but also showed me the love and support available to victims of violence. The performance united people of different race, religion and political association. Talk about non-partisanship! This year I am volunteering by helping with the production and fundraising for V-Day 2008 on Maui (www.vdaymaui.com). The magic is happening again. We have our public servants and administrators from both parties, contributing to the performance and reading for the event.

Two things I want to point out:
1. Throughout the violence and destruction that we often see and read about in the world today, know that at the same time there is also the birth of love and support that shows up just as strong, if not stronger.

2. A common purpose, that comes from love and support, can unite even the most steadfast opponents.

Silence empowers violence and creates victims.
Awareness and Action empowers victims to become Survivors.

Some ways you can Take Action!

1. Find a local event.
Visit http://events.vday.org/search.php to find an event near you.

2. Spread the word.
Share your local event with your family, friends and colleagues. Just by spreading the word, you can save a life and help support someone to survive. Also, participate in the “V to the Tenth” event on April 12th, 2008 in New Orleans.

3. Get the facts.
Violence is an issue that plagues all women and men in every part of the world. Here are some statistics about rape, incest, battery, FGM, sex slavery/trafficking. Also for more information, here is an Anti-Violence Resource Guide (http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/).

4. Organize a V-Day event.
If you would like to host a V-Day event in your College, Community or High School, you can find out more and register here: http://v10.vday.org/take-action/organize-a-local-group

5. Get help.
If you are in need of immediate medical attenton or police assistance in the United States, dial 9-1-1 on your telephone.
If you or someone you know has experienced violence in the United States, call:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN): 800-656-HOPE (4673)
For assistance in other countries or to learn more, please visit the Anti-Violence Resource Guide (http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/)

Wishing you Love and Happiness,
Susan?

Technorati Tags: VDay, Vagina Monologues, life coach on Maui, Hawaii events, stop violence

You already know my feelings about resolutions. . .
Fuhgedaboudit!
At least “fuhgedaboud” the “old” resolutions that do not pertain to your life RIGHT NOW. And “fuhgedaboud” those goals that weigh you down, year after year (see SOAR).
Instead, create intention and purpose around what you want.

Five years ago I worked with my coach to create a “Living Theme.” A theme is a motto or mantra that supports you every single day. It is an intentional focus that empowers you throughout the year. Every day, when you wake up, your theme inspires and motivates you to move forward.

It is about setting an intention based on what you want the year to be about. As an example, here are some themes I created:

• “Be Great” – The year I created this theme, I moved to Maui, bought a house, started my coaching practice and established myself as a professional speaker/trainer. Each step of the way I was thinking of “being GREAT!”

• “Get Involved” – My “Get Involved” year was amazing! I started working with (and getting involved with) community organizations I care about, like the Maui Humane Society and American Cancer Society. I also got more involved professionally by volunteering my time to work with entrepreneurs as a business counselor/coach for the Small Business Administration offices of SCORE and SBDC.

A theme empowers and inspires through purpose and intention all year long!
To start creating YOUR Theme, brainstorm with the following ideas:

1. Think of what you want right now. Brainstorm words and phrases that are relevant and touches you personally.
2. Challenge yourself (refer to SOARing, December blog) – Think of how you want to stretch yourself in the coming year.
3. Think of 3 quotes that speak to you and what you’re about today.

As you brainstorm, your theme might pop out at you or you might have to find a common connection among your ideas. Either way, this will get you started.

Have a wonderfully, intentional Year!

Technorati Tags: intention, theme, resolutions, goals, stay inspired, motivation, challenge, success, purpose, inspiration.